huh?!

Kids are so strange!

Hayleigh was walking down the hall - alone. My husband and I are sitting in the living room. All of sudden, we hear Hayliegh say, "My dog ate my homework!" Huh?! First of all, No, she didn't. Second of all, it's Christmas break - you have no homework! We just laughed.

When we left the library yesterday, Deklan took a bookmark. He read it to me: Make the rule (it looked like a ruler), don't do drugs. He says, "You should make that your rule." I said, "Yeah, I only do the prescription drugs the doctor tells me to take. It's ok to take the drugs that the doctor tells you to take." He said, "yes, but we won't do other drugs." "I said that's right, we won't do drugs like marijuana, heroine, or cocaine." He said, "Yes, we won't do the cola drugs." Oops - too late! I'm already addicted to Coke!

Christmas Poem

Autism Night Before Christmas
by Cindy Waeltermann

Twas the Night Before Christmas
And all through the house
The creatures were stirring
Yes, even the mouse

We tried melatonin
And gave a hot bath
But the holiday jitters
They always distract

The children were finally
All nestled in bed
When nightmares of terror
Ran through my OWN head

Did I get the right gift
The right color
And style
Would there be a tantrum
Or even, maybe, a smile?

Our relatives come
But they don't understand
The pleasure he gets
Just from flapping his hands.

"He needs discipline," they say
"Just a well-needed smack,
You must learn to parent..."
And on goes the attack

We smile and nod
Because we know deep inside
The argument is moot
Let them all take a side

We know what it's like
To live with the spectrum
The struggles and triumphs
Achievements, regressions...

But what they don't know
And what they don't see
Is the joy that we feel
Over simplicity

He said "hello"
He ate something green!
He told his first lie!
He did not cause a scene!

He peed on the potty
Who cares if he's ten,
He stopped saying the same thing
Again and again!

Others don't realize
Just how we can cope
How we bravely hang on
At the end of our rope

But what they don't see
Is the joy we can't hide
When our children with autism
Make the tiniest stride

We may look at others
Without the problems we face
With jealousy, hatred
Or even distaste,

But what they don't know
Nor sometimes do we
Is that children with autism
Bring simplicity.

We don't get excited
Over expensive things
We jump for joy
With the progress work brings

Children with autism
Try hard every day
That they make us proud
More than words can say.

They work even harder
Than you or I
To achieve something small
To reach a star in the sky

So to those who don't get it
Or can't get a clue
Take a walk in my shoes
And I'll assure you

That even 10 minutes
Into the walk
You'll look at me
With respect, even shock.

You will realize
What it is I go through
And the next time you judge
I can assure you

That you won't say a thing
You'll be quiet and learn,
Like the years that I did
When the tables were turned.......

More birthday blues!

Again - not my birthday but I can still be blue. It's my middle child's birthday. She's 10 today! Oh my, I'm beginning to feel old. Does anyone else cry every time one of their children have a birthday? I do every time!!

The NEW Christmas Carol

This is to the tune of 'O Christmas Tree' - not a carol for everyone, but I liked it.

'Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?
Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?
You did not see that car ahead
And you were flattened by the tread.
Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?

Oh Kitty Cat, Oh Kitty Cat
Why does your tongue hang out like that?
Oh Kitty Cat, Oh Kitty Cat
Why does your tongue hang out like that?
You running from the mutts,
Then that truck spread out your guts.
Oh Kitty Cat, Oh Kitty Cat
Why does your tongue hang out like that?

Oh Fred the Fish, Oh Fred the Fish,
Why are you lying on the dish?
Oh Fred the Fish, Oh Fred the Fish,
Why are you lying on the dish?
You did not see the hook ahead,
And now your head is stuffed with bread.
Oh Fred the Fish, Oh Fred the Fish,
Why are you lying on the dish?

Oh Sue the Skunk, Oh Sue the Skunk,
Why do you make my tires go thunk?
Oh Sue the Skunk, Oh Sue the Skunk,
Why do you make my tires go thunk?
You did not look from East to West
Now on the road there's such a mess.
Oh Sue the Skunk, Oh Sue the Skunk,
Why do you make my tires go thunk?

Really good meeting

Friday was great! We had a meeting with a psychologist from the WSU psychology clinic. Her name is Shani and she is great. She just observed Deklan while she and I talked. She completely understood. She knows what we need and how to get it. She knows that the case worker has resources that she's not sharing with me. Shani knows because she works with the organization that my case worker is referred from. Shani is one of those that does the evaluations of the children to see if they are eligible for services through the organization. She did not do Deklan's evaluation because we went through KU Medical Center in Kansas City. Anyway, she's going to get some things together, contact some people and see what she can get going for us. She says we need in-home resources. For example, I have a hard time getting Deklan to follow through with the hygiene stuff. He refuses to brush his teeth, comb his hair, and taking a bath is like pulling teeth. After awhile I get overwhelmed and exhausted just trying to get him to do these. So that's one thing that she wants to work on. Another thing is getting Deklan completely potty trained. She apparantly knows how we can work on this. There are several other things that she saw a need for and she knows how to get the resources for them! I think I'm babbling but I'm really happy.

Onto a different matter. While we were at the meeting Deklan brought up the subject of his playground. Apparantly there are a lot of trees/woods behind his playground. There is a fence to keep the students in the yard. Deklan is convinced that they are haunted. He's "seen" things. He went into complete detail with Shani - things I'd never heard him talk about. I knew he thought they were haunted; he's "seen" a stick move and no one around; he believes no animals live in the tree area. However, while talking on Friday he went into way more detail than that. Including a Demon Hunt club that he and a couple of others have formed. He's seen a black and white shadow floating through the trees. He's seen writing on the board in the classroom when the teacher hasn't been there. There were other things but I don't remember everything - I was just so blown away. Later, he looked up and said, "When I look at people I see demon faces." Shani asked if he saw a demon face when he looked at her. He said, "Well I don't always see them." I'm not sure what to do with him. I do have a plan of taking him back to the school and into the trees so he can see what's really back there. I just have wait for it to get warmer. We were too busy on Saturday and it was way too cold yesterday. Today it's only supposed to get to 20 degrees and it was 4 degrees when the kids went to school.

Can you hear me now?

I said, "Deklan come here."
He said, "I'm sorry, you're breaking up."
I said, "Deklan come here."
He said, "I'm sorry, you're breaking up again."

Getting Help

I have a friend who is graduating this weekend with a master's in psychology. She's already been working and teaching in the field at WSU. After Monday's experience I thought I seriously needed help with Deklan. I emailed M yesterday morning telling her about the incident on Monday and asked her if she knew of anyone that would be willing to take Deklan on as a patient, preferring someone with autism experience. She called me yesterday afternoon and had me talk with one of her colleagues. I've actually met this person (we'll call her S) before and I really like her. She does have experience with autism. M thinks Deklan is just the cutest thing so S already knew about him and was very interested in meeting Deklan. Our meeting is tomorrow morning. I'm very excited about this - I think it's what we both need. Thanks for your concern (I was concerned too) and I'll keep you posted.

Birthday blues...

Not mine - my oldest daughter turned 12 today! I just can't believe it. It doesn't seem possible. Actually, I'm not really blue, I'm happy that she's happy. I even baked cupcakes and took them to school for lunch. She's in 6th grade now so she doesn't have a class that I can crash with goodies. And can you believe she was actually excited that I was there - in front of all her friends? I figure I've only got about 6 more months of that and she'll be trying to get rid of me when her friends are around. For the most part though, I really like her friends. Especially the girls in her GS troop. Since I'm the co-leader that's probably a good thing.

Next week - 8 days to be exact - is my youngest daughter's birthday. She turns 10. We haven't had a party for the girls in several years. This year I decided to have a party for them. We don't have a lot of money, and that's usually what keeps me from having one for them. But I found out that we could rent the community building for $20 plus a $50 refundable deposit. So, that's what I did. Their party is going to be after Christmas on the 27th. At first I wasn't too keen on that idea but then I thought... you know what it's right in the middle of Christmas break and the kids would love to see their friends during that time. Besides some of the parents might be ready to get rid of their children for a few hours after having them out of school for a week already. Anyway, that's what we're doing. Oldest is into skulls - I don't know why. So, this is the picture that I'm going to try to have put on her cake...

I also used this picture on her invitations. I bought some black and white designed 4x6 paper, fed those into the printer for the party information, printed out a sheet of skulls, cut and pasted them to the front of the invitations. The paper had different designs on them but here's her favorite.

A question...

Here's a new question for the group. Is Deklan playing me? He's an intelligent child and he basically knows right from wrong. So when he decides he wants something and he knows that I will say no - is his meltdown on purpose? Does he act out and kick and scream just to get what he wants or does he really not understand? He's very complicated.

I take my daughters to a therapist who has helped a great deal with the girls' tempers and understanding why they get so angry at times. Mostly they get mad at me for taking Deklan's side. Which I do not always do, but they don't understand that. Anyway, when we were in her office yesterday, Deklan wouldn't listen - he wanted to play with her toys and she wanted him to sit and listen to what she was telling the girls. He was so defiant. She used a restraint procedure on him. Basically she wrestled him to the floor, held his hands behind his back, and restrained his legs. It didn't hurt him at all - even though it was extremely tough to watch. In order to get up, he just had to comply with her rules. He didn't. We ended up, literally, carrying him to the car while he was kicking and screaming. She went back to session with the girls while I kept him in the car. I've never gone to the extreme she did with the restraint, but I do have to hold his hands and brace his feet to keep him from hitting and kicking me. I did this yesterday in the car too. The fit lasted the whole session - she walked the girls out to car when it was over and Deklan was still kicking and screaming. She felt the fit had nothing to do with autism. If that's the case then he's just being a brat and I have to figure out how to take care of it. If it's not the case and this is part of the autism then what do I do? The therapist (I think she's actually a psychologist) says he'll end up in trouble with the law if he keeps that up. So, again, here's my question... Is he playing me?

This is the post I started on the Monday after we got back. I decided it sounded a little mean and bitter so I stopped. I changed my mind and thought I'd post it anyway.

Well, we're back from our Thanksgiving trip. We went to Mom's for the holiday - she lives in Oklahoma. We also have Christmas with Mom on Thanksgiving because we can't get back there for it. We went on Tuesday; my brother and his wife came on Wednesday evening. Then my brother and his wife left on Saturday; we left on Sunday. Here's the thing... my brother is a bully. I know that sounds harsh, but it's true. He thinks he's a house-repair, car-fixing, macho guy. In other words, he's a male chauvinist pig. I really wish I were exaggerating - unfortunately I'm not. Don't get me wrong... I do love my brother and, when I need him, I can normally count on him. He and his wife have bought the kids school clothes for at least the last 4 years. They always give the kids good presents at Christmas and birthdays (probably too many presents). They paid for Oldest to go to camp last summer. So, at least when it comes to affording things, he’s not a bad guy. On the other hand... he always has to be right, he doesn't like the way my girls dress (refers to them as hookers if they wear tight or short clothes), he complains about everything, and these are probably his good qualities. Here are some examples from the past week. 1. My mother makes wonderful homemade sour dough rolls. The dough rose overnight on Wednesday and cooked on Thursday morning for dinner. On Friday Mom heated the leftover rolls for lunch. She put them in the oven to re-heat which made them a little harder than putting them in the microwave. No big deal to everyone except Brother. He made sure to point out that the rolls were a little hard, calling them a rock and hoping he didn't break his tooth. Everyone else was trying to be polite and they were still good, so why bother making a comment. 2. Brother gave my mom a BB gun for Christmas. Yes, that's what she wanted. She lives way out in the country and needed it to keep strays out of the trash. It's not really as bad as it sounds and it doesn't hurt that much. I should know... my brother shot me with it! I was talking to Mom in the living room and ping - he shot my arm. It left a little round bruise but it was ok. I just told him to please not do that again. He was like "Waah! It didn't even hurt you." Whatever, Brother. 3. My mother had an old Pepsi machine. It was the kind that you have to open the door and pull the handle to get the pop out of. She gave that to my brother and he was trying to load it into his truck. His wife said something to him and he just went off on her. "Just go away! I'll do this myself. I wasn't even talking to you... it wasn't even your business. I'm serious, just get out of here!" I felt really bad for Sis-in-law. 4. Here's my biggest complaint against my brother. Deklan was acting out. "He just needs a good spanking. If he were my kid he wouldn't act like that. You always give him what he wants... you don't treat the girls like that. When we were kids you know Dad wouldn't have put up with any of that. Autism or not, you just baby him too much."

When Deklan said he felt different and not happy, I actually believe that he got that emotion right. My brother doesn't give him any attention - except negative. He does give the girls attention. Especially Oldest, who is his favorite and everyone knows it.

Overall, our Thanksgiving went well and we came home on Sunday after. It was so cold. Oldest had rolled the window down part way on the way to Oklahoma. It stuck! Then when I was trying to fix it, I rolled it down more and then couldn’t get it fixed! We put plastic and duct tape over the window. The plastic was too thin and ripped before we got to town (did I mention Mom lives out in the country – 12 miles outside of town?). We stopped 3 times before I finally got to a small town with a dollar store. I bought one of those clear plastic paint drop cloths and more duct tape. We had the whole door wrapped and taped! Needless to say, it was kind of a loud (from the wind on plastic) and cold trip home to Kansas.

Deklan's thoughts

I had been laying on the bed watching TV with Deklan. I left the room for just a minute and came back. When I sat down Deklan said, "I thought that pillow was you. See, that's why it's a problem that you're fat." (He added No offense when his sister told him how mean that sounded.)

His second thought of the evening wasn't so easy to laugh off. He said, "Sometimes I feel different. Like I'm left out." I asked why he felt that way. He said, "I don't feel happy."

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. We're at my mom's for Thanksgiving break. That may be part of the reason for Deklan not feeling like everyone else, but I'll blog more about that next week.

Do you want my chair?

Deklan was trying to play a game on the computer earlier today. I needed the computer for just a minute and took over briefly. I sat down in the chair to do my quick work. Deklan patiently waited for about 2 minutes.
Then he said, "How did you get in this chair?"
I said, "I just sat down."
He said, "So, you walked this way and sat down?"
When I said yes, he said, "Ok so go the same way to get out."
I think his patience wore off.

Trapped!

Ok - is probably not the greatest subject to blog about but, here goes anyway. The past week has Deklan been terrible with accidents. Not, oops I fell accidents, but oops I pooped accidents. It hasn't been fun. Yesterday when Deklan came home I checked him and he was fine. About 1/2 hour later I asked him again because he didn't smell so clean. He hadn't, but I had the feeling he was close. I told him that if he had an accident now I was going to get upset because he knew we were getting ready to go somewhere. He made a bee-line for the bathroom. After a few minutes I heard him call me and went and checked on him. Sure enough he had BARELY made it to the bathroom. I asked him if he'd gotten any in his pants. His response...
"No, I trapped it in my bottom until I sat down."

It's been awhile

Sorry, I know it's been awhile since I've been here. Life gets busy sometimes. You all know what I'm talking about.

Deklan's ear is fine now. You can't imagine how tiny that piece of paper was. Here is a recreation, but not an exaggeration.

In perspective, This was taken on a small square pan. The second was taken on a folder.

Yes, it's the little white dot. The doctor used this little vaccuum to suck out the paper. It had a tip like he'd use to look in the ear or nose. It was kind of cool actually. Deklan didn't think so though. But he's fine now.

Since I was here last...
1. We had a Girl Scout camp out and haunted stroll. My troop girls, including Oldest daughter, had a blast. I came back with extremely sore feet and poison ivy. Still getting over the poison ivy.

2. My oldest daughter developed scabies. It's some sort of mite that gets under the skin. Not sure how she got it - she's the only one that has had it in our family. She did get a spider bite, but I'm not sure if that's how she got it or not.

3. Our Girl Scouts finished their fall candy and nut sales. YEA!!! I was the service unit manager for all 19 troops. We had audits last week and everything went well, for the most part. Today is my audit with the council and am hoping that goes well.

4. Deklan started his Boy Scout popcorn sales. By the way, you can log onto www.orderpopcorn.com, choose Shop without a key: Select council, choose KS: Wichita - Quivira, Go and shop! I'm shameless, I know! It's been hard getting him to sell this stuff. The good thing, besides selling to family, is that I volunteered to work one of the show and sell tables outside Wal-Mart so he did earn some credit.

5. Youngest daughter went with her Girl Scout troop to see High School Musical 3 and had a sleepover. She was so excited - she's still at the age where she doesn't get invited to many sleepovers. She's been to a few in the last few months so that's good. She's the middle child and I always feel like I'm neglecting her when I talk about the kids.

These are just some highlights from the past few weeks. I'll post some more later - I have to be somewhere in a few. I'll also post some photos - I finally got my camera to upload to the computer. YEA!!

He's got what in his ear?!

So I got a call from the school nurse Monday afternoon about an hour before school was out. She said that Deklan was complaining about his ear. When she checked it out he had a piece of paper stuck in his ear. She said he was ok but that we should irrigate it when he got home. (He was so close to coming home that I didn't go pick him up.) When he got home I asked him what was in his ear. Of course he wasn't exactly sure - he didn't do it - he wasn't sure how paper got in his ear - someone else must have stuck it in there. I tried to irrigate it (take a syringe with warm water and shoot it into the ear canal), but it didn't work. In fact I lost sight of the paper completely. He was complaining that his ear hurt now so I stopped. My middle daughter had a Girl Scout ceremony that she needed to be at so I took her to that. I was hoping 1. that it might work itself out and 2. that his ear would quit hurting so we could check it out again when I got home. It did not do 1 but did do 2 above. When I got home it still hadn't come lose from his ear so Emergency Room here we come. I was afraid that it would become infected or do damage to the ear if it wasn't taken care of right away. Guess what? ER couldn't get the paper out either. They tried the irrigation thing too - a lot - and it just wouldn't budge. The doc said it was a tiny piece of paper stuck right up against the ear drum. Now we have an appointment on Friday with the ENT specialist. They said that for no longer than it'll be in there he should be fine with no ear infection and to just do normal things. Guess they figure if I make a big deal out of it so will he. He's done really well so far - only pulled at his ear a couple of times and did ask what the doctor said about getting it out.

Does anyone have any idea what the ENT will actually do? The receptionist used the term that my "check in time" was at 1:15. That makes it sound more like a procedure than an exam which makes me a little nervous.

Rough week

1st - last weekend was so much fun. It was great having real adult conversation. We did crafts that we could do with our Girl Scout girls. We had an open campfire and toasted marshmallows. It was just really fun.

Now, the rest of the week was really not good. Monday started out ok but Deklan was a little cranky in the afternoon. Tuesday got worse. Deklan has homework that he does every afternoon - it's a math work sheet. He loves math, add to the fact that it takes him 5 minutes or less to actually do the sheet, and it's usually no problem getting him to do his homework. Tuesday he took his work sheet scribbled on it, crumpled it up, and said he was finished. I immediately called his teacher to find out if there was a problem at school. She couldn't think of anything that might have triggered him. Tuesday is always busy so I had to get my girls ready for Scouts, Deklan ready for Boy Scouts, and then I had a PTA meeting after Scouts. Deklan's bus driver is on the PTA with me - she's the President, I'm the VP. I asked her how he was when he got off the bus, thinking maybe he sat with someone that upset him. She said he sat by himself and he seemed fine when he got off the bus, even saying "Bye Mrs. Amy." (She loves that he always calls her Mrs. Amy and not Ms. Amy or Miss Amy - she thinks it sounds cute.) Anyway, I didn't know what to think. Had a hard time getting him to bed. Wednesday morning just got worse. He let me get him dressed but that was the end of his cooperation. He wouldn't eat; he wouldn't get his jacket on; he wouldn't take his back pack; he wouldn't walk to the bus stop. I walked him out to the bus stop - I don't usually do that because I'm not always presentable in the mornings. (He usually walks with his sister so it's not like I send him out to the wolves alone.) The bus gets there and he won't get on. I put him on, Mrs. Amy tries to help carry him on, but he isn't budging. There's a line of cars so I have to take Deklan off the steps of the bus and drive him to school. Actually, I had to go get officially dressed - going braless without my hair combed to school just didn't feel right. I guess either/or but not both - just kidding. Anyway, the only way I could get him in the school was to walk him in and then agree to stay in the class room for awhile. Luckily his teacher was just heading out of the office when I was signing in. She tried to get Deklan to go to his room with her but he wasn't letting me go for anything. By now I'm thinking that something must have happened but since he's not talking then who knows! On the way to his class room we stopped by the IR room - I have no idea what IR stands for but it's the equivalent of a special education room. I talked to the teacher and let her know that Deklan was having a bad day. I honestly haven't completely made up my mind about her but I'm leaning towards useless. Anyway, I told him I would sit at the back of the room but he had to sit in his desk just like normal. After about an hour or so I went in the hall to sit. I wanted to see if he would be alright or if he really would have a problem if I wasn't there. I didn't hear anything from him and checked on him before leaving - he was following along, sullenly, with his class, but no melt down. I felt extremely guilty when I left but he needs to be able to do this on his own and the school knows how to get a hold of me so I wasn't completely abandoning him. I called and checked on him at noon. He was doing fine. When he got home he went immediately into melt down mode - partially to guilt me I think.

"I didn't know where you went. I wanted you to stay with me all day."

"Well, you didn't tell the teacher you were upset. I stayed in the hall and waited to see if you even noticed - you didn't, by the way. And I called and checked on you and you were doing just fine or I would have come back."

Cue the alligator tears. He got crankier after that. Thursday morning he wouldn't get ready, he didn't eat, he didn't want to go. I told him that he had to go to school. They didn't have school on Friday because of in-service so Thursday was the last day of the school week. I also promised that I would go to his Halloween party at school. I will stay as long as the party lasts and, when it's over, I'll let him be a car rider. He agreed and did fine all day. Friday, not so good again. He was cranky - the sisters were cranky - I was cranky. I was going to take the kids to the pumpkin patch/corn maze but I had to have reservations to be added to a group already going through. We were going to go around 3 in the afternoon. At 1 1/2 - 2 hours I knew we were looking at a tiresome evening but figured the kids would enjoy it. Then I got a call from a good friend. She said her family was going to the movies to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua and would we like to go along. A couple of other friend's families were going too. We haven't been invited out with friends in a long time and thought it would be really nice to go. I asked the kids what they would rather do - I was not going to do both the pumpkin patch and the movie - I may be crazy but I'm not stupid. It was voted 2 to 1 for the movie. That's when my middle child decided that she wasn't important, we never listen to her, I don't love her, I don't care about her - you get the idea. The whole day was one frustration after another. Anyway, we went to the movie and had a great time - even middle child. Saturday was ok. Sunday I woke up with a terrible headache and stomach ache. We did our weekly cleaning - each child getting his own list of chores to complete. Deklan thought it was terrible that we made him help too.

"Can't you give me an easy job?"

"I did. Help your sister pickup YOUR toys in Sister's room and pick up the bags that fell under the table from the groceries. That's all you have to do - what could be easier?"

"That's so hard!"

"You take longer whining about it than actually doing it."

Bedtime was worse.

"I can't sleep alone."

"You sleep alone all the time."

"No, I need you to sleep with me."

"Uh... sleep with your sister."

"No, I need you to sleep with me."

"Fine. You go to sleep now and I'll be in later. I'll lay down with you for awhile but then I am going to my own bed or I won't sleep."

"Ok."

Cue the 5 a.m. scream in the dark.

"What is going on?!"

"You didn't sleep with me!"

"Yes, I did for a little while but you were already asleep."

"I want you to sleep with me."

"Deklan, I'll lay down for a few minutes but I'm tired, my head still hurts too and your bed is not comfy for mommy."

"I won't stop crying unless you sleep with me."

Do I hear blackmail in his voice?

"I will lay down for a few minutes but then I have to go to my own bed. I need to be in my room when the alarm goes off so I know when to get you and sissy up. My head hurts and I need to go to the bathroom so a few minutes is all you get."

"I won't stop crying unless you stay with me."

After a few minutes of him still arguing and not even trying to sleep, I got up and went to the bathroom. He screamed. Daddy got mad. I told daddy to put Deklan in my bed and I'd be there in a minute. Once I laid down with him, he was reasonably ok but still wouldn't settle down and go to sleep. Then it was time to get the kids up and guess who decided he was too tired to get up. That did NOT go over well with me or his daddy. Once he got up he did ok. He even helped get himself dressed while I swept the bathrooms and kitchen and mopped. He went to school in a great mood. I hope it keeps up. Anyway, that was my week. Sorry this was so long. When I get frustrated I don't blog like I should and the result is a 20 page blog. :)

Have a happy week!

Mommy's sleepover

I am going to a sleepover tonight. Yep, you heard me right. I am going to an adult sleepover. No, it's not one of those parties. It's a Girl Scout leader/volunteer camp out. We'll actually be staying in a cabin though - I don't think I could do a tent on the ground. I'm going to have another girl's night out and am really excited. It's going to be fun. I'll let you know how it goes.

Another first

Deklan had his first camp out last night. It was a Boy Scout camp out and his daddy took him. Deklan wasn't sure he really wanted to go. It was only about 30 minutes from the house so I told him if he decided not to spend the night that they could come home. Daddy agreed. I also tried to tell Deklan that he might enjoy it. He could see some wildlife or watch the Scout Master cook on an open fire, or they might have some really good stories to tell. Daddy and I finally convinced him to go - at least for a little while. No problem - he loved it. They came in around 8 this morning. The first thing out of his mouth was, "It was great!" Daddy said Deklan was really hyper last night and couldn't settle down. I told him he was just really excited and in sensory overload with so much going on. Daddy just laughed and said there was definitely a sensory overload then!

I actually got to spend the evening with my friends and then have the whole house to myself until the boys came home this morning. My oldest had a sleepover planned. My youngest daughter was going to go to a good friend's house while I played Bunko with the friend's mom and some of our other mutual friends. Oldest's plans fell through - her friend got grounded four hours before the scheduled sleepover. She was so upset; I felt so bad for her. So I called my friend's dad that was watching youngest daughter and asked if it would be ok if oldest came over too. He has girls both my girls' ages. It worked out wonderfully. When we got back from playing Bunko it was decided that the girls would just spend the night. OK Now what do I do with a house and dog all to myself? Just the usual. Computer, a little TV, reading, and bedtime around 1:30. It was just so quiet. Bunko, for those of you who have never played it, is really a fun little dice game. There were 12 players, split into tables of 4. At points in the game you switch partners and tables so you get a lot of interaction. We laughed so hard - I don't think I've had that much adult fun in ages. I've laughed hard with the kids and hubby but this was "girl" fun. I really enjoyed it. Hope they call me again to play.

Busy, Busy, Busy

I know I haven't blogged lately. I want to blog but then I get really busy and don' get around to it. Deklan says stuff and then I can't remember the good stuff when I want to blog either.

My schedule completely consists of nothing but kid stuff. I spend evenings doing Girl Scout activities, Boy Scout activities, PTA activities. During the day it's doctor appointments and case worker appointments. For example, my week this week consists of... Monday: P/T conference for youngest daughter, volunteering at youngest daughter's school for the book fair, Turning in fundraiser information to Scout leader for youngest daughter, and Girl Scout meeting for youngest daughter. Tuesday: P/T conference for Deklan, volunteering at Deklan's school for the book fair, Scout meeting for oldest daughter (I'm co-leader), Scout service unit meeting (I'm secretary and fall sales manager), Boy Scout meeting for Deklan. Wednesday: Behavioral therapy appointments for both daughters, Scout leadership training for me. Thursday: Wow! I'm free today - so far - oh wait, the kids are out of school today because of P/T conferences. Friday: Kids out of school today too, Service unit sales orders due to me from the other 17 troops so I can enter them in the computer, Boy Scout overnight - which daddy will hopefully do instead of me. Saturday: Still entering sales orders in computer and Scout Leaders overnight - includes more training and not all fun and games. Somewhere I fit in cleaning house, laundry, sewing on patches for uniforms, and grocery shopping. There is also football concessions at the middle school where I'm VP of PTA. I'm supposed to get volunteers to handle the concessions but it's really hard when the volunteers don't really want to volunteer. So I've been having the pleasure of working concessions in a hot, mosquito infested building with people I don't know.


Last week Deklan and I went to the BASIS meeting with the county developmental disability organization. We will have a case manager within 10 business days. Yeah! I'm not sure what that means but it's good news.

Friday night Deklan's Boy Scout troop helped with the flag at the high school football game. Actually the VFA (is that right?) put the flag up and all the little boys saluted while the anthem played. Deklan was so good - I even got a little teary.

I'll write more this week - I promise.

Firsts

We had two firsts in our family tonight.

Tonight was my oldest daughter's first school dance. Awww! She went with a friend and met other friends there. My camera isn't downloading so I can't upload any photos but she looked cute. It was school attire so the clothes were normal. But she did wear makeup. I painted her nails, put on eye shadow, mascara, and blush. She looked so mature. She was excited to tell me that she was "party boyed" which means that a boy came up and danced around her. Not just any boys though - two 8th grade boys - one while she was dancing and one while she was just standing with friends.

Tonight was my son's first friend sleepover at our house. Didn't go quite as well as oldest dance. Things were fine - until bedtime. The little boy lives upstairs and, from the sounds some nights, he doesn't have a real bedtime. There are nights we hear the kids upstairs jumping and running after midnight. I've called the mom several times and asked her to please tell the boys not to jump because we're going to bed or my kids are already in bed. Little boy said his bedtime was 11:30 and I told him not at my house. He wasn't thrilled but was ok while they were playing. At 9:30 I told the kids bedtime. At 9:35 little boy decided he was going home. Fine with me except it broke Deklan's heart. I walked little boy home and came home to find Deklan crying his eyes out in bed. I tried to console him. Problem is I get really upset when I can't console the kids - it hurts my heart when I don't know how to make it better. So hubby did a really good thing - he took Deklan out of my arms and held him for nearly 30 minutes. I told Deklan that he could stay up just a little longer and color a sheet if he wanted to. After sitting in daddy's lap crying he finally decided that maybe he could color for a few minutes. He was back in bed before 10:30 so it wasn't too horrible. But that little boy will not be invited to spend the night again that's for sure.

So that's our night of firsts.

Fall Festival

Last Saturday was our town's fall festival. We went to the parade in the morning. Actually we were all part of the parade - two Girl Scouts and a Boy Scout. The girls were both in the parade last year. This was Deklan's first year. Since I'm a leader this year, I rode the float our troop decorated. Originally Deklan was going to walk with our co-leader's husband or ride on the float with me. Instead we found out he could ride the Boy Scout float and that excited him. When the parade was over I asked him if he had fun.

His response, "I had to sit on a bale of hay with the sun shining, I couldn't do anything, and it was HOT!"

"So, did you have fun?"

"It'll be better next year."

O... K... then.

Later that evening we went to the festival carnival in town. I was walking with Deklan when he stopped and looked at the sky. It was a very nice evening. But the sky was dark.

He said, "The sky must be busy tonight."

"The sky is busy? Why do you say that?"

"Because there's no stars and you can't see the moon either."

The Charming Award

Thank you to Mommy~Dearest for this award.

The Rules:
Leave the following message on your post when you pass the award on to their chosen eight blogger buddies.

“These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.”



So the eight blogs I chose to share this award with are:

Bobbi at Mixed Blessings
T at Send Chocolate
Casdock at Faces of Autism
Alexandra at Happy Hearts at Home
Jodi at Reimer Reason
Mara at Mama on the Edge
Mommazilla at www.tsblogs.com - cheaper than therapy
Jess at diary of a mom

The appeal worked!

I am so excited. Yesterday I got a call from the county organization that turned Deklan down for case management a couple of weeks ago. I wrote a four page letter for appeal. Some of that letter I posted a few blogs ago on the 15th. Yesterday the lady in charge called me to thank me for the letter. She said it was exactly what she needed to learn more about Deklan. She also said that because of the letter they are moving him into the approved category and we should have our acceptance letter by the end of the week. YEA!! I'm not sure what all the benefits will entail but anything has to be better than nothing - which is what we have now.

Also, more good news for Deklan. I'm friends with Deklan's bus driver. She's really great. Anyway, she asked me yesterday if there was anything he could bring on the bus with him to keep him occupied. She said he's not a problem just really antsy - a lot of stimulation on the bus. She suggested putting a few cars in his backpack and she'd allow him to play with them on the bus. This actually excited me. With having so much opposition from the school (psychologist to be exact) I love having a person from the school that I can use to help my case if I need to. It's great. It's the little things that make me happy. lol.

Thank you

I just want to say thank you to those of you who read my blog. And leave comments. I don't always reply to them - mostly because I'm not quite sure how. Do I leave a re-post? Do I reply in my comments? I'm just not sure - any ideas are welcome. Anyway, I just want to say thank you. My biggest online support comes from two of my favoriteist (I know that's not a real word) blogs: Quirk Factor Resistance is Futile and Mixed Blessings. I absolutely love you guys. I think it's great that Bobbi has went back to college. I'm excited that Jayson may be finally in the right school with support. I may not get to read everyday but I always catch up. I actually read quite a few, but these are my constant blogs. I'm also very fond of Send Chocolate. T over there likes to tell it how it is. Some of the others are: Happy Hearts at Home, Reimer Reason, Mama on the Edge, Diary of Mom, and way too many to list. Anyway, I just want you to know that I'm always here and appreciate your blogs - even if I don't always comment. And thank you for reading mine and supporting me.

My son

My son is the little boy in the front row that has to sit on a special seat because he can’t sit still. My son is the little boy who has a need to touch everything. My son is the little boy who flips the little girl’s hair because he likes the way it feels and looks when it flips. My son is the little boy who can only take one instruction at a time because he gets confused. My son is the little boy who has to watch other kids to figure out what is going on because the transition to another subject was too quick. My son is the little boy who makes noises and it takes four times of telling him to be quiet before he realizes that he’s making noises. My son is the little boy who will repeat things over and over because he likes the way it sounds – he’s especially fond of jingles and songs. My son is the little boy who will catch your conversations and hours later repeat it back while talking to himself. My son is the little boy who has little eye contact and when talking to you will let his eyes wander every where except your face. My son is the little boy who will walk into the house after school without saying a word, go into his room, and not come out until you make him come eat dinner or get ready for bed. My son is the little boy who, when frustrated, will refuse to open his mouth and talk. He uses his own special brand of sign language that we must figure out in order to know what he needs. That’s assuming he hasn’t completely shut down by that time. My son is the little boy that you’re weary of taking into a store or restaurant because you don’t know what’s going to trigger a melt down. My son is the little boy who loves to be around other children and, yet, he just doesn’t quite have the understanding of how to play WITH other children. He usually prefers playing games where there is not direct interaction. My son is the little boy who has to wear pull-ups to bed because he still wets the bed. My son is the little boy who still has accidents in his pants (both urine and bowel) and doesn’t realize it. My son is the little boy who recently laid in the hall and cried for over an hour because he couldn’t decide if he wanted to wear big boy underwear or a pull-up.
*My son is the little boy that tells me twenty times a day that he loves me. My son is the little boy that can brighten my room just with his smile. My son is the little boy that makes me laugh every day just by being himself. My son is the little boy that I wouldn't change for all the money in the world. My son is the little boy that I love just the way he is.

I had to write an appeal today. I didn't know what to write. I put in a lot of the IEP and eval wording and quotes from teachers and staff. I referred to all the tests he's been administered since April 2007. Then I put in a paragraph (up until the *, the rest I just added) to describe Deklan, my son, to them.

Potatoes and corn

Last night we asked Deklan what we should have for dinner. We were thinking hamburgers. He thought we should have more to go with it. He chose to have hamburgers, hot dogs, mashed potatoes, and corn. Ok, we can do that. He actually ate one hamburger and one hot dog - holy cow! But he also ate potatoes and corn. Now the really big news... not only did he eat the potatoes and corn but he mixed them together and still ate them! Yeah! He ate something mixed that were two different colors. I was so excited. Daddy wasn't quite as excited but I just don't think he quite understood the significance.
I'm still excited.

Smooth bumps

This morning my son was feeling his pop tart. (Did I mention he's a sensory seeker and touches everything?)

He said, "Oooh, it's smooth and bumpy."

Daddy says, "You can't have it both ways. It's either smooth or bumpy."

Deklan says, "Well the bumps are smooth."

Healthy Breakfast

I am such a good mom. We have no pop tarts and no more cereal. What am I going to give the little ones for breakfast? Hey...hubby made cake last night. SCORE!! Chocolate cake for breakfast. Yep, such a good mom. lol

Yesterday Deklan wanted a snack before dinner and I told him no. He stood there - stuck out his bottom lip, batted his little eyes and gave me the puppy dog eyes.

"Pleeeaaassse?"

I stuck out my bottom lip, batted my eyes, and gave him the puppy dog eyes.

"No."

He put his finger on my bottom lip, pushing it in, and said, "You can't beat me at this."

Yesterday we went to my brother's for dinner. They were having a barbecue. My brother told oldest daughter to get a lawn chair out of the back of the car - a cougar.
So Uncle said, "Kodi get a chair out of the Cougar."
Deklan came up to me and said, "Why is there a chair in the cooler?"


On the way home I was talking, using my fingers for punctuation. I used my finger and made a circle in the air. Oldest daughter started laughing and said that I made the "shape of a butt" with my finger. Ha, ha - ok. Later Deklan called Nana to tell her about dinner at Uncle's. When he was done he gave me the phone to talk to mom.
She said, "So... Deklan told me you shave your butt."

I was just at Wal-Mart and saw the strangest thing. Wind up Sushi. No kidding - little wind up sushi toys. Who buys these things?

Not autistic enough?

I applied for case management and some services for Deklan. He was diagnosed with Autistic Disorder in October 2007. That was after nearly a year of working towards getting into a doctor to get the diagnosis - that's a different story. Anyway, he was turned down - he doesn't qualify. The reason he was turned down is because "Specifically, you do not exhibit an Axis II diagnosis of Mental Retardation before the age of 18, as measured by a licensed psychologist, nor do you exhibit a developmental disability." Isn't Autism a developmental disability in itself? He's not autistic enough? I just don't get it. These are services that he could benefit from - am I wrong to want that?

Boy Scouts

We joined Boy Scouts tonight! Tonight was sign up night for scouting so they've been promoting that for the past week. He was so worried that I'd miss signing him up. I knew I wouldn't miss it because I needed to be there for signing up Girl Scouts. Convincing him of that was quite the feat though. Last year we signed the girls up for Girl Scouts and Deklan really wanted to sign up for Boy Scouts. Deklan was too young last year because he was only in kindergarten - their age group is 1st grade and up. I told him he'd have to wait until this year. End of conversation - not mentioned again - until 2 weeks ago. "When do I get to sign up for Boy Scouts?" What?! Where did that come from?

Deklan told me last night, "I'm turning into a goose."
"You are?"
"Yep. I've got goose bumps."

Hand-ball sandwich

We went to a Wingnuts game last night. (Wingnuts is professional baseball in Wichita, Kansas.) My Girl Scout co-leader got free tickets through her company and was able to get enough tickets for each of our Girl Scouts and their families. That was nice.

It was kind of fun. There were several characters there - Spinner the Squirrel (mascot), Diego, Bat Man (the "bat" boy), a pirate. Deklan especially like Bat Man because Deklan had brought his stuffed dog - Ace the Bat Dog, Batman's dog from the cartoon Krypto. Yes, Deklan had to bring Bat Dog - in case the fireworks were too much and he needed something to squeeze. (I swear those were his words.)

Deklan did very well. He didn't sit still or pay attention much to the game, but did well all the same - no meltdowns or freak outs. I would tell him about different things of the game - our team is up to bat, oh he missed and got a strike, he made it to second, we're pitching now, etc. At one point I said that our team was pitching.

Deklan said "I'm a good pitcher."
I said, "Really?"
"Yes. I know how to pitch. You put your right hand out, put the ball in your right hand, put the left hand on top - like a hand-ball sandwich."
"What if you're left handed? Can you put your left hand out first and the right hand on top?"
"No - it doesn't work that way."

Sorry lefties - you apparently are not allowed to be pitchers.

Anyway, when the fireworks started Deklan was sitting between hubby and me. Deklan leaned over and said, "Bat Dog needs to see this. Can you get him out of the bag to watch?"
Well I sure wouldn't want to stand in the way of Bat Dog seeing such a beautiful display of fireworks.

The lunch box

Yesterday Deklan had a melt down before school because he wanted to take his lunch. We don't take our lunches - we get free lunches. Please don't judge me. He was adamant that he needed to take his lunch box. I don't have any lunch meat in the house and very little bread - hubby has to take his lunch every day so there's little left by the middle to end of the week. Deklan wouldn't get ready for school - no breakfast - no clothes - no brushing his teeth - NOTHING! I finally gave in. He was happy with what he took and understood that we won't be taking our lunch again until field trip day.

What did he have for lunch you ask...
He took a poptart and a juice box for lunch. Healthy, I know.

Ok - so I told you about my heart cath. Wednesday I had to have a EGD (tube down my throat that takes pictures in my stomach). Because the doctors believe the chest pains are not my heart they wanted to check my stomach to see if that was causing pain. Apparently it is. The results: several erosive spots, signs of gastritis, and a small polyp - which is being biopsied. They also took samples to determine if the erosions and gastritis is from a bacteria and how to treat it. So that's the quick update and I'm doing just fine. Thanks for the prayers and thoughts.

WAAA! WAAA!

My baby turned 6 yesterday. I was too distraught to even blog. OK so that was an exaggeration, but I did cry a little. I'll never hug my five-year old baby again - now I'll hug my six-year old baby. I know, I know, he's still my baby it's just the age thing gets to me. He's my baby and my baby's growing up. That's hard to swallow.

He wanted a party soooo bad. He's never had one before - he's never asked before either. I didn't want him to be disappointed but we couldn't really afford a party. We always get cakes for the kids - that's just a given for them. So this year I bought some Transformer plates and napkins to look formal and then just invited all the neighbor kids, that were outside playing, in for cake and ice cream. No need for presents, just come in and eat cake. There were 6 kids plus my 3. Deklan was perfectly happy. Earlier I took mini cupcakes up to school so he could celebrate with his class.

Fresh meat

Getting Deklan ready for school this morning, I got out the outfit I thought he was going to wear. Deklan decided he didn't want that outfit so I asked what he did want. He was leaning on me and in my face. He whispers (that's his thing, whispering), "I like fresh meat."
HUH??
"Well, I'm not sure I can make you a shirt with fresh meat, but let's see what we've got in the freezer." (Sarcasm is my strong point.)
"No, that shirt."
Oh.. he means the shirt that says, "I love fast food" and has a picture of a deer running. He saw that shirt and thought it was hilarious.

This is why you ask first.

The neighbor girl was over - the same 6th grader that rides the bus with my oldest. She came out of the bathroom holding a beef stick and said, "Umm this is good."
"What did you say?"
"This is good?"
"Sweetie, where did you get that?"
"Bathroom."
"Yeah... that's a dog treat you're eating."

Who does that? Goes into someone else's house and just picks something up and starts eating? I know I'm a little strange and definitely not organized, but not even I leave snacks in the bathroom.

One of the things that Deklan was so excited about for this year was that he gets to eat lunch at school. Friday he was telling me about school and he got so excited about lunch.
"I got to have milk at lunch."
"You did?"
"Yes, I even got to have chocolate milk yesterday. They make the best milk! ... And bar-b-cue sauce!"

School started back on Wednesday. The kids were actually excited. Oldest is in middle school so she gets to ride the bus with the high schoolers. Yippee. As my neighbor pointed out, our girls (they're both middlers) are going to receive way too much "education" before the end of school. Middle daughter is in 4th. She goes to upper elementary - 4th & 5th grades. She was placed in the class with her best friend. That was exciting. Deklan started 1st grade. He goes full day and I'm a nervous wreck. I keep wanting to email his teachers during the day just to see how he's doing. Instead I emailed today so they can respond on Monday. I say they because he actually has one teacher - Ms. Gen Ed - and then another for special services - Ms. Special Ed. I left messages for both, asking the same questions. I want to compare answers and see what's going on.

I asked Deklan if he got to play with Kevin - his friend from last year that we still have play dates with but is in a different class this year.

He said, "No, but this weird girl kept catching me and taking me to the swings. She doesn't get just one girl to help her, she gets like 14! But I escaped and she came back to get me."
I asked him who the girl was.
He said, "I don't know. She went to Head Start with me."
Oh my goodness! I know which girl he's talking about.
I asked, "Was it S?"
"Yeah."
Then he asked me, "So what should I do?"
I told him to tell her that he doesn't like that game so please don't do that.
He said, "No, I don't like HER, not the game."

O..K.. Not sure what to say to that.

To his credit, she really is a weird little girl.

Yesterday...

was not so good. I went to get some tests done at 7:45 yesterday morning. I'm only 34 but I have a lot of heart disease in the family and I haven't been feeling well lately so I wanted to be sure I'm not going to keel over with a heart attack. Family history here: My father died at age 61 of a heart attack, having his first heart attack at 45, several bypasses over the years and was told he needed to be put on the transplant list because only 10% of his heart was working. My brother had a heart attack - only one that I know of - when he was 37, he'll be 39 next month. So, I wanted to be sure.

Anyway, I was getting a myoview - pictures of the heart, similar to an ultrasound. I had to have an IV put in, dye put into the IV, wait an hour and then get the first set of pictures done. Then I had to wait again, have a treadmill test, more dye in the IV, the second set of pictures. Getting the pictures done were ok - this big machine circled around my chest while taking pictures every 30 seconds or so for either 11 (1st test) or 7 (2nd test) minutes. The hard part was holding my hands above my head and lying flat on my back when I'm not used it. The tests came out abnormal. I had a little chest pain (probably from walking 6 minutes on a steep incline, but whatever) so the doctor took me next door to the emergency room. There I sat for about 4 hours. It wasn't so bad. Because it was my heart - no I did not have a heart attack - there was a swarm of nurses on me immediately. IV set up (again), oxygen, EKG, heart monitor, you name it I had it. Then they gave me a local, baby aspirin, some nitro (yuck!), and then something to keep me from being sick to my stomach (yeah!). Anyway, after about 2 hours they decided to admit me, but I had to wait another couple for an available/clean room. They decided that I needed a heart cath. That's right - a heart cath.
"Don't worry." They said. "You won't remember anything." They said. They were wrong.
They went in through my right groin artery (femoral artery?). They did give me some good local that made me loopy for a few minutes. That was fun. Then it felt like a lot of pressure in my leg (inner leg where my leg bends). Oh yeah, it was a lot of pressure in my leg! When it was over they showed me some of the recorded film from the cath so I did get to see the dye shooting through my arteries. That was kind of cool. Then I was taken back to my room told not to move for the next 4 hours. Flat on my back and don't move for 4 hours?! That was hard to do. And because it was a major artery they put a 10 pound sand bag on my leg where the stitch is. Let me tell you, you haven't lived until you've been put flat on your back with a 10 pound sand bag on your leg and told not to move for 4 hours. Did I mention that by now it's nearly 5 p.m. and I hadn't eaten since 8:30 the night before. Yeah... I was beginning to get a little hungry.

Oh, you want to know the results? Well the doctors weren't really concerned. I only have 30% blockage in my left artery. No big deal. That's what they said anyway. Then they told me to go on a cardiac diet and sent me home - after nearly 6 hours. (Does anyone know if I should be worried and get a second opinion? Just kidding, I'll just need to watch my diet and exercise more than once a month.) I got to go home very close to 11 p.m. Since my husband had to work yesterday, I did call and let him know what was going on but didn't feel the need for him to leave work and come up to the hospital. He didn't come up to the hospital until nearly 7. Needless to say, he missed all the excitement because by the time he and the kids got there I was flat on my back and getting irritated that I couldn't move.

So I am home now. Extremely sore muscles in my leg and abdomen. I couldn't drive today - we had to leave one car at the hospital so I didn't have a car at home anyway. Moving very slowly, can't bend over, and can't drive. I sound like I'm 90.

Deklan had a hard time this morning. I thought he was going to have a meltdown before school. He wanted to, I could tell. I can't bend over or lift so he was having some issues with getting ready this morning. He seemed better this afternoon and hopefully tomorrow a.m. will be better for him.

Puppy Kisses

There's nothing like waking up to puppy dog kisses. Every morning Riley jumps on my head and gives me puppy dog kisses. That's a nice way to wake up.

Imaginary Pets

Deklan has imaginary pets. The most popular is Barky the dog - also Deklan's alter ego at times. Then there is Xing Xing and Li Li - both dogs. Kitty the cat - self explanatory. These are the ones he plays with most often.

Yesterday while at the mall - yes we went to the mall - amazingly the dogs caught up with us. Deklan was a little concerned because his dogs were thirsty and we didn't have anything to drink. I asked him if, since they're imaginary, we could give them imaginary water. That would have been fine except, he forgot the imaginary water.

Today we met new pets... Liony the lion, Ollie the Octopus, and Horsey the horse. Liony met up with us at the eye doctor's. Ollie and Horsey on the way home. The funniest was when we met Ollie. Deklan said, "Oh no... Ollie the Octopus just inked that truck." Playing along I said, "I saw that, yuck. Tell Ollie not to ink my van." "Well he only inked the truck because all this traffic scares him." I told him that Ollie could get in the car and I would take him home. Only Ollie decided to ride on the top of the van instead. I told Deklan again to tell Ollie not to ink my van. Deklan said, "Well... he didn't ink your van, he peed on it." My oldest pointed out while laughing hysterically that I told him not to ink my van - not pee on it. Thank goodness Horsey just ran along side of us - no telling what he would have done!

What a strange child

We have a neighbor kid who is still learning how to knock. He sometimes just lets himself into our house on his own. He's kind of funny actually. He has a speech problem so it's sometimes hard to understand what he's saying but that's not what makes him funny. One day he came into the house and just sat down. My hubby was playing the Playstation or one of the consoles and I wasn't home. Neighbor sits down; hubby thinks Deklan is coming in from outside to play so he doesn't say anything but thinks it's kind of strange. After awhile he realizes Deklan has been in his room for the past 20 minutes and not even playing with the neighbor. Hubby finally asks the neighbor what he's doing and he says just watching. Hubby finally asked neighbor to leave since Deklan didn't want to play right then.

A couple days ago the same neighbor boy came to the door and asked hubby if he could play inside. Hubby said Deklan didn't want to play. Neighbor said that was ok but could he come in and play with his (his own) cards anyway. Hubby was like NO.

Today neighbor boy comes to the door. Oldest daughter tells him Deklan doesn't want to play. Neighbor says, "Can I come in?" Daughter says, "No, Deklan doesn't want to play." Neighbor says, "I know but can I come in?" Daughter says, "No." Neighbor says, "Well, I'll ask my mom and she'll say I can come in." Daughter says, "Well it's my house." Neighbor says, "So if my mom says I can play inside then I can." Daughter says, "Whatever." He didn't come back this afternoon.

Not a great day

Deklan didn't have a great day today (I'm still on Sunday - even though it's early Monday morning). He didn't have any meltdowns, he just was a little off kilter. Yesterday he was in and out, playing with the neighbor kid - well his type of playing where they're in the same area and think they're playing the same game but actually are playing two very different games at the same time. Anyway, he was loving and just there. Does that make sense? It does to me. Today he was just not there. He played in his room nearly all day. Which is fine - it just keeps him really isolated and it bothers me some that he doesn't want to come out. The neighbor boy - who loves Deklan and is almost the same age - kept coming over and Deklan just didn't want to go out. He wouldn't even go out for a popsicle. He finally came out of his room on his own around 6 p.m. He wanted to play the computer but older sis was on it and he had to wait an hour. Not patiently but he waited. Then he got an hour on the computer and went back to the other room until bedtime. Every time he hears a website announced on TV he runs to the computer and tells me to look up the website. Usually it's from the cartoon network or a commercial that says you can play games online. So not a great day, but not really a bad day either. Guess I shouldn't complain - it's been worse.

Deklan climbed up in my lap last night and said, "You make me cry."
That surprised me so I asked him why.
He said, "You make me cry tears of love. I may even cry tears of love on you."
Then he said, "I'm full of love."

Mall Madness

We spent the night at the mall. No, we didn't get locked in by mistake - although that might have been fun too. Actually it was a Girl Scout event called mall madness. We arrived at 9:30 p.m. and left around 5:30 a.m. There were three adults and eight girls - that was just our troop. The leader and I have girls the same ages - 9 and 11. So our little ones were there with their troop as well. Not to mention every troop within the Service Unit. Some stores stayed open until 1 or 2 a.m. Some stayed open all night and had specials just for the Girl Scouts. The girls played glow in the dark golf, played on the inflatables, played bingo, did crafts, and of course shopped until they dropped.

Let me tell you - going to the mall is not normally my cup of tea. In fact, we've lived here for two years and this is my first trip to the mall. Not because I don't mind a good shopping spree every now and then, but because we never have the money to do anything like that. Remember I'm a stay at home mom. That being said, my brother and sister-in-law always take my kids school shopping a couple times a year. So we called them up, told them about this night at the mall, and asked for some school clothes money - with the idea that we'd be able to shop for school clothes. Each child got $100 dollars to spend - well, I got $100 for my son since he wasn't there. They did have some ok sales - apparently not as impressive as last year, but ok.

My older daughter bought a couple of shirts - one cute and one is still up for debate on whether she can wear it to school, a couple pairs of earrings - that'll help keep her warm on those chilly school days, and candy - well what can I say about that, so did I. I asked her how much she spent and she said, "I don't know... under $50 though." Under $50?! For what she bought it should have been under $20. My younger daughter actually did pretty well. She got a pair of jeans, a pair of khaki-type pants, a cute shirt, and a pair of gym shoes. How much did she spend? $41. For my son we got a pair of Power Rangers tennis shoes and two pairs of jeans. I spent for him only $29. I'll go through the receipts later and figure out how much each child spent specifically so I know how much they have left to spend for school.

The girls had a great time though. Only one of ours actually slept. About 1 a.m. though she started feeling a little icky so that's understandable. Everyone was running around and having great fun. I, on the other hand, had my feet screaming "SIT DOWN!! DON'T STEP ON ME AGAIN!!" Unfortunately, I could only listen half the time because we were walking from one end of the mall to the other because of stores, sales, activities, tracking girls. Anyway, it was quite an experience. One I wouldn't trade because I got to have an experience with my daughters that a lot of people don't have.

The ASA - Autism Society of America - is having an online art exhibit. They are encouraging us to upload any images done by someone on the spectrum. The link below takes you to the online exhibit in case you want to check it out.

http://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer?pagename=art_exhibit

Earlier today I was heating something up in the microwave and had two minutes, thirty seconds. I told Deklan I had to go to the bathroom and asked if he thought I had enough time. He said go mom - you can beat it. Then he came in the bathroom and started saying, "Mom! Mom! Mom! I'm cheering for you. Mom! Mom! Mom!"

Isn't that sweet?

Before that I was wearing lipstick and kissed him. He wiped the lipstick off and said, "I wipe the lipstick off but it just rubs the kiss in more."

Deklan was in a very loving mood today. He kept hugging and kissing me. He said, "There's a magnet that goes from my heart to yours."

Ok - so I took the day off from being mommy yesterday. I felt much better when I went to bed last night too.
Anyway, Deklan just asked me, "You know you weren't a mommy yesterday, are you a mommy today?"
I said, "What do you want?"
He said, "Salt." (He was eating an apple.)
So I got up to get the salt and said, "What would you do if I weren't a mommy today?"
He said, "Ask somebody else to get the salt."

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 2 or fewer people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Thanks to Bobbi (Mixed Blessings) who got the link from Mother Hubbards cupboards.

I am a HORRIBLE person!

There, I said it. Have you ever thought that you really don't want to be a mommy anymore? I love my kids more than anything, but sometimes the Autism (Deklan), the ADHD (Dakota), and the jealousy (Hayleigh) are just more than I can handle. So today I took the day off from being the mommy.

The last two nights both of my girls had sleepovers away from home. Deklan has been horrible to get to bed. Actually he was fine getting to bed - as long as it was my bed. I have to move him to a different bed in order for me to sleep. Right now he happens to be sleeping on the spare bed in my daughters' room. I put him to bed and he said he was thirsty. I got him something to drink but it wasn't right. Then it was right but he wasn't thirsty anymore. Then he was scared. Then he was... Last night I actually slept with him for nearly an hour - long enough to make sure he was really asleep. I already have a sleeping disorder and he is making me so frustrated. I was diagnosed with Circadian rythem sleep disorder last year. Basically, it's kind of like my internal clock is mixed up. Since I have kids home I can't sleep during the day all day. Sometimes I'm able to get in a nap. Anyway, when I do get sleepy I need to sleep right then, otherwise it's like I miss my opportunity and I become too tired to sleep. His night time fits have really irritated me. Not just at night either. All his fits are beginning to get to me. And he's started having accidents in his pants again. That really bothers me - he'll be 6 in a month and he'll start 1st grade before that.

Anyway, this afternoon I decided I was taking the day off from being a mommy. I told Deklan that I was not a mommy today. I told him that he could ask daddy for whatever he needed. He thought that was kind of funny. Later I told him to do something then said, "Well, if I were a mommy today I would tell you to do that."
He said, "Yeah, but you're not being a mommy today remember."

So am I the only person who ever just wanted to take a day off from their regular life?

So Deklan fell a couple of days ago and hurt his big toe. The skin was actually pulled away in a little chunk and there was blood around the nail. I'm not good with blood so I'm sure it's not as bad as it sounds. Anyway, he stumped the same toe again and caused it to bleed again. I wanted to clean it but he wouldn't let me touch it - no water, no washrag, no bandaid, no touchy. So I said I'd call the doctor and see what he suggested to use to clean it. He thought that was a fine idea - he was even ok with going to see the doctor.
He said, "I want to go to the doctor but don't let him cut my toe off ok."

Today is my birthday. I'm 34 in case you are wondering. I didn't mention it to my family - figured they should remember. Guess what? They actually did. Of course the first call this morning was from my mom - I knew she wouldn't forget. My kids remembered when they were talking about going swimming on Sunday and realized today was Saturday. But the biggest surprise was that my husband actually remembered - and got me something. We don't have a lot of money and he usually uses that as an excuse. This time though he bought me candy. Not just any candy - FUDGE! I love fudge.

Another Deklanism before I go.

A good friend of mine and I were pregnant at the same time. My son is 6 weeks older than her daughter. Deklan and Kelsea have always been "boyfriend and girlfriend." Deklan is true to her. (I think Kelsea is a little more fickle - you know, out of sight out of mind kind of thing.) He has always said that Kelsea is his girlfriend and they are going to get married someday. I tried explaining that some things change as we get older. He doesn't believe it's so and I quit trying to convince him. Let's just cross that bridge if we ever come to it. Anyway, we found out that my friend is now pregnant with twins after nearly 5 years of trying. Our kids will be 6 in August and October. Anyway, I was telling them that "Aunt" was pregnant.
Deklan exclaims with sheer excitement, "Oh, you mean my girlfriend is going to be a sister!"

I love taking pictures. Especially of clouds and nature. I'm not especially good at it, but I enjoy it all the same.

This picture was taken somewhere around Alamosa, Colorado on July 5th.

This picture was taken in Englewood, Colorado on the 4th of July.
This picture was taken as we were leaving Colorado and heading home to Kansas. Not sure exactly where we were at the time - somewhere along I-70. The view is actually a mirror view - I took the picture while looking in my driver's side mirror.

These pictures were taken in Garden City, Kansas on June 25.

These next two pictures fascinate me. I said they look like cotton balls I could just pluck out of the sky. Deklan said, "I think they look like little butts."

This was taken on June 26th.

This was also taken on June 26th at the Garden City Zoo. This is the bottom of a man-made water fall. I liked the way the water looked - kind of like a small rushing river.

Also taken at the zoo. It's a picture of a dragon fly.

Thanks for letting me share.

I Love...

My hubby.
My apartment.
My bed.
My little bitty town.
My computer.

We are finally home. We were in Aurora, Colorado - a suburb of Denver. We actually came back on Friday the 10th. We had enough of being away from home for so long. We weren't supposed to come back until early this past week but we were so ready to be home. We left about 3 in the afternoon and arrived home about 1 a.m. We used to live in Aurora before moving to Kansas. I didn't realize how much I really don't like Denver anymore. It takes all day to get somewhere just to spend 20 minutes before turning around and going back. Ok - maybe a slight exaggeration, but not much.

Things just didn't seem the same - I guess they never really are once a person moves away. I had one friend that really took the time to spend time with me. The rest just had to work me into their schedules - even though they were fully aware that the kids and I were going to be there. Granted we were gone for quite a few weeks and I was probably at my breaking point anyway, but I really don't know if I'll take my summer and visit them again. At least not next year. The important thing is that the kids and I enjoyed most of our time away. We took a couple of days and went to the mountains. I reconnected with a couple of friends that I really haven't seen since high school (1992). That was fun - awkward, but fun. Anyway, I'm back and I have a couple of "Deklanisms" to share with you.

One being...
We stayed with a friend that has a really nice, large house. I asked Deklan if he thought we should get a house like that. (I really have no intention of moving and love my apartment.) Anyway, here's his idea of what our next house should be.
1. It should be a flower painted house. (I'm not sure exactly what he has in mind but that scares me!)
2. It should have a gate for the backyard and should come with a dog run.
3. It should have so much dirt so we can plant flowers. (I don't have a green thumb by any means.)
4. It should come with 4 bedrooms so the dog can have her own room. I asked what about the girls (they currently share a room). He said, "Hmmm... you're right - only 3 bedrooms." (Apparently the girls don't need a room of their own and the dog can share with them.)
5. It should have 14 windows.
6. It should have 3 elevators because it should be 5 stories up and have 20 doors because there's only going to be 5 bathrooms. (I guess that's one bathroom per floor.)
7. Make it come with an Xbox and a Wii - only one of each though.
8. It should have 20 - no, 21 - clocks. (Can you tell I'm always running late?)
9. Make it come with a limo and more than $100 dollars and 2 comfy couches.
10. It should have 48 trash cans. (I asked, "You think we have a lot of trash?" He said, "Yeeaah!"
11. It should have pictures of "our band" on the wall. (Right now our band is Big and Rich.)
12. For the 3 bedrooms - 1 is big, 1 is medium, and another 1 is medium.
13. It should have 100 packs of pens and 100 cars - blue, but not toy cars. (100 packs of pens and I probably still couldn't find one when I needed it.)
14. He said, "What about let's buy furniture at Big Lots?" (Umm.. ok.)
15. A set of CD's - Rascal Flats, more Big and Rich (although I think we have all of their CD's) and "I don't know what else."
16. "How about it comes with food?" (I asked what kind of food.) Spaghetti, chicken noodle soup, asparagus (yes, he likes asparagus), chicken, green beans, peanut butter, jelly, bread to go with the peanut butter and jelly, bologna, and Miracle Whip.
17. It should have fly swatters and 28 lamps.
18. It should come with bottles and cups. Bottles like the ones with straws that don't come out and cups that you just suck (tip and sip cups). (He likes no-spill cups with lids.)
19. It should come with bones for the dog.
And, I swear this is really what he said...
20. Probably a replacement for Hayleigh - but not a monkey.

Well, we're off again bright and early tomorrow morning. One more GS camp this summer and then we're off to Colorado for a couple weeks visiting family and friends.

Just one before I go though.

This morning I was approaching an intersection in which I had the right of way. There was a car approaching a stop sign too fast on my right and I said, "you better stop buddy."
Deklan said, "I think some people don't know it's the law to stop."
I said, "Where'd you get so smart?"
He said, "Well I have memory stuff in my brain. I got a shirt in my brain and a house in my brain. Every time I buy something then that memory stuff goes to my brain. But when I sleep the people in my brain are not in there. The people in my brain have a store in there too. Sometimes when I'm sleeping the people go there."

Just wanted to let everyone know that the puppy is doing just fine. If I can just teach Deklan how to be gentle with her, she'll be doing great.

Our new puppy is a female Rat Terrior, just about 6 or so weeks old. We were trying to name the puppy. There were quite a few suggestions. Some were serious... Quinn, Riley, Lilly. Some were funny... Knucklehead (my personal favorite), Puppy, Nippy (because she bites). Deklan suggested Chocolate-Vanilla Swirl and Vanilla Swirl with Caramel and Chocolate. I told him they were too long for the name tag. Then Michealla, one of my "nieces" from Colorado, suggested "Poopie Head". Deklan piped up with, "No, that's a boy's name!" Sorry, didn't realize Poopie Head had a gender.

When Quinn was suggested, Deklan thought that was great. He said, "yeah, let's name her Quinn. That way when she goes nuts we can call her..."
Are you ready for this?


"...QuinnSane!"
(For those of you that don't get it... Insane!)

While at Mom's, Mom said she'd cook hamburgers when we got home after a day of errands. I said, "Mmmm with cheese, ketchup, and pickle relish." Michealla said, "Relish is made from pickles?"

Our New Puppy "Riley"

I have no idea what Deklan ate that was blue - maybe it was his Berry Gatorade.

Well, we're off again. We're taking my oldest to Girl Scout camp and visiting with mom again. Hope everyone is having a wonderful summer!

Thursday was rough. I should have been home cleaning and getting ready for my two extra girls that I'm going to have for the month. Which is what I had planned to do - right after I ran a couple of errands. After not being home for a week and a half, I needed to get a few groceries. My husband can survive on Top Raman and Pot Pies. The kids and I can survive on cereal and frozen pizza. So, I needed milk and a few other things that can be made up quickly. Unfortunately, I also had the bad sense to decide that we should run out to grab some burgers before continuing with errands. I hate it when I try to be a fun mom and everything blows up in my face.

We went to McDonald's - kids' favorite place. Deklan decided he wanted Wendy's to eat. Actually he just wanted to go through Wendy's drive-thru but play at McDonald's. Of course he didn't decide this until I had already ordered our food. Then he started the melt down in the middle of McDonald's. He tried not to scream but started to pull on me. When Kodi tried to help he started screaming. I had the girls stay for the food while I went outside with Deklan. I couldn't get him to talk or look at me. He just kept saying Wendy's! I told him I'd get the girls and the food and we'd go. No, he wanted me to throw the food away and leave. NO WAY! I was not going to throw the food away. The girls finally came out but Deklan was not going to get into the van. He screamed and kicked. The people in the restaurant - going in and coming out - just looked at us like I was a horrible mom and Deklan was a horrible little boy. After, I don't know, maybe 1/2 hour-45 minutes he decided we should eat at McDonald's and reorder our food. Again, NO WAY! I still had the food. I didn't have the drinks because I just couldn't keep Deklan from grabbing them and spilling them. I thought his sisters were going to strangle him. We were out there for over an hour. I did get him settled down enough that he let me hold him but he still cried and screamed - he just quit kicking. I was tempted to call his dad from work to come help me, but I knew that wasn't really a realistic solution. Finally we basically shoved him into the car - Hayleigh held him while I pulled out. I felt awful. Unfortunately, I still had errands to run. I didn't have any groceries - not even pop or juice or milk. I stopped at the one store and he stood in the parking lot screaming about going back to McDonald's for 5 minutes. I finally just kept walking and he came along. He threw a fit for just a minute longer until he got to the pop isle. I drink Coke. The new 2-liter bottles have the olympics symbols and some colors. He stopped because he was fascinated by the bottles. When we left that store, I still had to go to Super Wal-Mart our grocery store of choice due to one-stop shopping when necessary. He was much better in that store. By the time we got home I was exhausted. I didn't want to do anything but cry. I didn't of course because that would just be senseless. Needless to say, nothing got cleaned up in the house either.

Thursday night it stormed. Actually we went to the store and got my daughter a tracfone that was on sale. I'm stupid - I should have just added her to our monthly plan; it probably would have been cheaper in the long run. Anyway, then we went to the t-mobile store because I wanted to get on a text messaging plan and upgrade my phone. As soon as we stopped it started pouring down rain. And the rain was cold! It was kind of fun running through the rain though. BTW I got a red Blackberry Pearl. It's kind of cool - a lot different than my regular little flip phone. Thank goodness that I had credit on my account or the phone would have cost me over $250.

Friday was good. Hubby was able to get the day off to go with us. We went to Hays, Ks to pick my "extra" girls. We had lunch with the kids and their mom. The kids were making up jokes and we were laughing and having a good time. Deklan sat at the end next to daddy and the other mom. He was so good. The older of the two girls, Michealla, is 14. Camrie is 9. Deklan has taken to Michealla so well. He already knew her - we're practically family anyway - but she is so good with him and he loves her.

Yesterday was spent at garage sales with the kids. We just had a really fun time.