Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Deklan's IEP was yesterday. I was happy with the outcome. There was a lot of information presented that I still need to think over and make sure I have no questions. My Rainbows case worker and our clinical psychologist (Shani) came to the meeting too. They were my support. We now have a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) set in place. The BIP includes getting Deklan to a safe room - IR room (Special Ed room) or OT room, giving him a crunchy snack, a drink for rehydrating, and basically redirecting his attention. They are working on finding him a sensory alternative to hopefully help him self-regulate before his melt downs actually happen. Whatever they come up with, we'll also try to use in the home so that he'll have the same options at school and home and will know how to calm down when upset or frustrated. They are also going to get Deklan a day planner to carry with him at home and school. The teacher will have the next day's or even the week's schedule written in the book. We can show it to him and he can SEE what's supposed to happen for the day. We can also make changes in the planner and show it to him. Even if it is a spur of the moment thing we can write it down and show him what's going to happen and help him cope with the schedule change. It'll be something new for both of us. But it really sounds like something that could be very helpful. They are also going back to the picture schedules. We also talked about giving Deklan cards with pictures or words so he can still express his emotions when he hits his no talking/extremely frustrated mode. I've read about some kind of book for Autistic children that has pictures like this, but I don't remember what it is. If you know, please let me know. I'm going to try to find the information on the net. If anyone has tried this before, what's been your experience? They think maybe Deklan is having testing anxiety so they are going to try bringing him into one of the IR rooms for some of his testing to see if he's calmer. They are also going to take him into the IR room at the end of the day and go over his homework for the evening and his schedule for the rest of the day so he knows what to expect when he goes home. I'm thinking some positive thoughts and hoping this will help.

Monday, February 23, 2009

My new trick

Deklan hates baths. Well, he hates the idea of a bath and will fight to the bitter end not to get in the tub. Once in, we may not get him out. Deklan also hates to brush his teeth. I can't get within a foot of him with a toothbrush in my hand. A week or so ago I put Deklan in the shower with me as soon as he got out of bed. I washed his hair real quick and then got out. He really liked just standing there in the water. It was also easier to get him dressed when he got out. Guess he woke up in the shower. Same thing the next day... and the next... you get the idea. Then I had a flash of an idea. He likes the shower (even cried the one morning I told him he didn't have time for a shower - we made time). Why not let him brush his teeth in the shower? Brilliant. I get to spit in the tub? Cool! Ok, so he still won't let me help him his teeth, but at least the toothbrush is in his mouth!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Deklan's pics

Deklan loves to take pictures. Here's some of his handy work from earlier this morning.

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

The kids and I spent the morning at a Girl Scout event - Ready, Set, Jet. Basically different troops represented different countries and then the troops educated other troops about their country. Our country was Kenya, Africa. The girls all braided their hair to look more authentic. We had an African ambassador who tutored the girls on the facts. Then he taught them a traditional African dance. It was kind of fun.

Most of our troop was able to make it. That's our fearless leader on the end - I'm not in the pic.
Dakota Hayleigh "Circle of Friends"
The girls "dancing." Story telling by the Ambassador - Allarakha (that's his name).

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Yellow M&M

Apparently, according Deklan, I'm like a yellow m&m. Yeah - because "You know, you're big and so is he". :)

Monday, February 9, 2009


That's my son's IQ. We had him tested because I was curious. He's always been intelligent for his age, but I wanted to know what I was working with here. He tested out on his age level. It doesn't get much higher for his age, I guess. Great! I'm excited! My son is gifted! Now what? I have a gifted autistic son with behavioral, sensory, and social difficulties.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

It's my fault?!

Friday morning we had a melt down at school. Actually, it started before school. Deklan did not want to get on the bus. It started when he looked at the lunch menu. He realized that we have school Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday this coming week. We're out Thursday and Friday for Parent/Teacher conferences and then again Monday for President's Day/Teacher inservice day. He was upset because he understood that he was not having school at all this week. Then he told me that he had a hard time keeping up with the spelling tests. The teacher says the word then uses the word in a sentence. He has a hard time once she repeats the sentence. That was his excuse anyway. So - remember the "great" special ed teacher that said I should call her when bringing Deklan into school? (Refer to Rant, I mean post, on January 14.) Well I made it perfectly clear to Deklan that he was going to school. Before we left I put Deklan in the van and called the school. Told them I needed the special ed teacher or another teacher to meet me at the door - I was bringing Deklan to school but I was not bringing Deklan IN school. The special ed teacher wasn't found - apparently not available before school? Anyway, his regular teacher and the principal met us at the door. I literally had to pull Deklan out of the van and pass him over to the principal, who carried him into the office. I know some of you are thinking how cruel I am. Actually I don't think of it as cruel. Deklan has to realize that there are rules. One being school is not an option - you go unless you're on your deathbed. Ok, slight exaggeration on that but you get the point. Anyway, I also had signed up to help at the book fair Friday morning - Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday also. However, I'm smarter than I look - I did not tell Deklan I would be at his school. The melt down happened anyway. This is the school that says they NEVER have a problem with Deklan. Oh yeah? Well, apparently it's my fault that he had such a huge melt down on Friday that I was asked to come help at the book fair after school. To which I said NO. Anyway, I'll let you read the correspondence from the school and my replies. See below:

Just wanted to touch base with you about Deklan. He is calmed down and doing his work, but it took a little bit of effort to get him calm enough to work. In light of this, we were wondering if you would maybe be able to switch times that you're helping with the Book Fair. I have talked to Mrs. Mitchell and she said that it would be fine if you wanted to come work after school. We thought this would probably prevent Deklan having any more meltdowns. Let me know if this is alright with you!

K-2 IR Teacher

I understand your concern. However, as far as I know, Deklan is not aware that I was in the building this morning. Nor is he aware that I intend on helping next week in the library. Unless someone from staff mentioned it to him, he believes that I left him when Mr. Bastian carried him into the school. The meltdown this morning is NOT my fault. I brought him to school because he refused to get on the bus. He said that someone told him he did not have school next week - misunderstanding that he does not have school only Thursday and Friday, I'm sure. He also stated that he didn't want to go to school because he couldn't keep up with his spelling words. I've already mentioned both to Mrs. McFarland this morning. As for the library next week... I have two other children besides Deklan and I feel that working after school is not an option. The reason I volunteered to work the mornings is so that I would not have one or more of my children wandering around and asking for a million things that I can't get them. I am not volunteering to get a book either. I have lots of time that I put into the Middle School, being president of the Parent Brigade there. I have time that I'm putting into (Hayleigh's school) for the Fun Night on the 21st. This was my first opportunity to help outside the classroom at (Deklan's school). If you would like me not to be in the building then please let Mrs. Mitchell know that, as much as I would love to help, she can take me off the volunteer list. If you would still like for me to help, I'd be happy to and I'll be there Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday a few minutes after 8.
Thank you for the response. We welcome you in the building but if you have to bring him on either Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday because he will not get on the bus then we will have to look at another option for Deklan that day. If he gets on the bus with no problem and is unaware that you are in the building then all should be fine.
Mr. Bastian,
I think I must be confused. His meltdown had nothing to do with me being in the building. He thought I left - that's why I asked for Mrs. McFarland to meet me at the door. Please explain to me your thoughts regarding another option for Deklan if he doesn't get on the bus next week. I don't understand.
I guess my issue is that it took three people and a total of 45 minutes to calm him down. I understand that he was upset and hopefully this is an isolated incident but if we are unable to get him calmed down next week and you are in the building, it will be my suggestion that he goes home for the day so that it does not disturb the learning of others and takes time out of peoples schedules that have classes to cover, etc. Hopefully this is clear as I must look out for the interest of all 440 students here as well as Deklan.
Mr. Bastian


I couldn't even reply to the last post because I was so upset. Take him home??? Is that really an option? Let's see, I had a melt down at school yesterday and mom took me home. Maybe if I do it again mom will take me home again. Hey this is pretty cool! Right - not going to happen. They're supposed to be prepared. Apparently the principal forwarded the emails the OT who called me on Friday afternoon. I told her I did not like being blamed for the melt down - it was not my fault. She said that the school needed to have a plan in place and know how to deal with situations like this. You think?! Anyway, she was very nice to me on the phone - we worked some issues out. We agreed that I would still help at the book fair in the mornings as planned, but I will come in about 1/2 an hour later than originally planned. That should give Deklan plenty of time to transition from the bus to the classroom. Assuming of course that he's on the bus. I am still extremely ticked off at the principal. I just hope I don't have to talk to him directly tomorrow because I don't think I'll be very nice.

Mommy Moments

Deklan climbs into my lap, kisses me, then just cuddles. He calls this "needing a mommy moment." I love Mommy Moments!

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Toe Walking

OMG! I haven't seen Deklan toe walk in ages - or at least I haven't noticed it. Today while walking in Wal-Mart, he was totally toe walking. How did I miss this?

Thursday, February 5, 2009


Yesterday was my 14th wedding anniversary. Yep, 14. And we're both still alive to tell about it. LOL!

How did we celebrate? Well, hubby had to work so us doing anything during the day was out. A normal couple would probably cuddle up, have a nice dinner, do something romantic even. We're not a normal couple. I didn't even see my husband for more than a few minutes before 7:30 p.m. and we were in bed (to sleep) by 9:30. Nothing romantic here. My younger daughter's Girl Scout troop prepared the Wednesday night meal for the church last night. The people enjoying the meal give a donation - the troop got to keep the donations, which is a great fundraiser and community service project. I took her immediately from school to an eye doctor's appointment and then straight to the church. We helped prepare and serve the meal. She helped clean up - I was going to but there were a lot of parents helping the girls so I sat and chatted. My husband did bring the other two kids up and eat dinner so I got to sit for about 5 minutes with him - he started before I did. Then he took Deklan and went home. I stayed so Hayleigh could help with clean up, Dakota went to class, then we went home. So romantic! HE-HE!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Sensory Overload

We had a rough weekend. Deklan was in sensory overload all weekend. It started with a HUGE meltdown on Friday afternoon/evening. I took him in to the psychologist for some tests. He knew we were going to the psychologist, but he wanted to play - not test. The first part of the test was just describing the word. Example: policeman. He answered the first few just fine then he just clamped his mouth shut and refused to talk or respond at all. He then followed that with a complete shutdown, laying in the floor turning circles, crying, and screaming at the top of his lungs. It was too much for me. Before it was over I was in tears too. This went on for about an hour or more. Finally the psychologist helped me get Deklan to the car - actually she carried him once we got outside. Then she got into the car with him while I shut and locked the door - she crawled out through my door. But she was gentle with him - not rough or angry. We started to pull out of the parking lot and he completely calmed down. He said he wanted to finish the questions and play with the blocks. I told him he'd have to wait until Monday afternoon because she was probably gone (it was nearly 6:30 in the evening by then - we got there at 4:30). He asked if we could check so I took him back to the door. It was locked. We checked a different door - it was locked too. But on our way back around the front Shani was coming out the door. I told her Deklan had something to say to her. He said he was sorry. I told her he wanted to take the test on Monday. He said, "Unless you have time now." She said she did and we went back inside - he answered every question she asked, played with the blocks and made plans for a "picnic" the next time we see her. It was like the previous 2 hours of melt down never happened. When we got in the car I asked him if he wanted his banana that I'd brought for snack. He said, "Yes Mama I would love that." Amazing. But it just went down hill from there. By the time we got home he was touching everything, hand flapping, couldn't get his sentences out without starting over 5 times. The next morning was his Boy Scout derby car races. He made it almost 2 hours before he went into overload and we had to leave. They let his car keep racing though. He came in 33 out of 51. Since this was his first year and we didn't really do a whole lot of work on the car, I think that was pretty good. Anyway, the whole weekend was just overload - although not too many meltdowns, which was good.