Birthday blues...

Not mine - my oldest daughter turned 12 today! I just can't believe it. It doesn't seem possible. Actually, I'm not really blue, I'm happy that she's happy. I even baked cupcakes and took them to school for lunch. She's in 6th grade now so she doesn't have a class that I can crash with goodies. And can you believe she was actually excited that I was there - in front of all her friends? I figure I've only got about 6 more months of that and she'll be trying to get rid of me when her friends are around. For the most part though, I really like her friends. Especially the girls in her GS troop. Since I'm the co-leader that's probably a good thing.

Next week - 8 days to be exact - is my youngest daughter's birthday. She turns 10. We haven't had a party for the girls in several years. This year I decided to have a party for them. We don't have a lot of money, and that's usually what keeps me from having one for them. But I found out that we could rent the community building for $20 plus a $50 refundable deposit. So, that's what I did. Their party is going to be after Christmas on the 27th. At first I wasn't too keen on that idea but then I thought... you know what it's right in the middle of Christmas break and the kids would love to see their friends during that time. Besides some of the parents might be ready to get rid of their children for a few hours after having them out of school for a week already. Anyway, that's what we're doing. Oldest is into skulls - I don't know why. So, this is the picture that I'm going to try to have put on her cake...

I also used this picture on her invitations. I bought some black and white designed 4x6 paper, fed those into the printer for the party information, printed out a sheet of skulls, cut and pasted them to the front of the invitations. The paper had different designs on them but here's her favorite.

A question...

Here's a new question for the group. Is Deklan playing me? He's an intelligent child and he basically knows right from wrong. So when he decides he wants something and he knows that I will say no - is his meltdown on purpose? Does he act out and kick and scream just to get what he wants or does he really not understand? He's very complicated.

I take my daughters to a therapist who has helped a great deal with the girls' tempers and understanding why they get so angry at times. Mostly they get mad at me for taking Deklan's side. Which I do not always do, but they don't understand that. Anyway, when we were in her office yesterday, Deklan wouldn't listen - he wanted to play with her toys and she wanted him to sit and listen to what she was telling the girls. He was so defiant. She used a restraint procedure on him. Basically she wrestled him to the floor, held his hands behind his back, and restrained his legs. It didn't hurt him at all - even though it was extremely tough to watch. In order to get up, he just had to comply with her rules. He didn't. We ended up, literally, carrying him to the car while he was kicking and screaming. She went back to session with the girls while I kept him in the car. I've never gone to the extreme she did with the restraint, but I do have to hold his hands and brace his feet to keep him from hitting and kicking me. I did this yesterday in the car too. The fit lasted the whole session - she walked the girls out to car when it was over and Deklan was still kicking and screaming. She felt the fit had nothing to do with autism. If that's the case then he's just being a brat and I have to figure out how to take care of it. If it's not the case and this is part of the autism then what do I do? The therapist (I think she's actually a psychologist) says he'll end up in trouble with the law if he keeps that up. So, again, here's my question... Is he playing me?

This is the post I started on the Monday after we got back. I decided it sounded a little mean and bitter so I stopped. I changed my mind and thought I'd post it anyway.

Well, we're back from our Thanksgiving trip. We went to Mom's for the holiday - she lives in Oklahoma. We also have Christmas with Mom on Thanksgiving because we can't get back there for it. We went on Tuesday; my brother and his wife came on Wednesday evening. Then my brother and his wife left on Saturday; we left on Sunday. Here's the thing... my brother is a bully. I know that sounds harsh, but it's true. He thinks he's a house-repair, car-fixing, macho guy. In other words, he's a male chauvinist pig. I really wish I were exaggerating - unfortunately I'm not. Don't get me wrong... I do love my brother and, when I need him, I can normally count on him. He and his wife have bought the kids school clothes for at least the last 4 years. They always give the kids good presents at Christmas and birthdays (probably too many presents). They paid for Oldest to go to camp last summer. So, at least when it comes to affording things, he’s not a bad guy. On the other hand... he always has to be right, he doesn't like the way my girls dress (refers to them as hookers if they wear tight or short clothes), he complains about everything, and these are probably his good qualities. Here are some examples from the past week. 1. My mother makes wonderful homemade sour dough rolls. The dough rose overnight on Wednesday and cooked on Thursday morning for dinner. On Friday Mom heated the leftover rolls for lunch. She put them in the oven to re-heat which made them a little harder than putting them in the microwave. No big deal to everyone except Brother. He made sure to point out that the rolls were a little hard, calling them a rock and hoping he didn't break his tooth. Everyone else was trying to be polite and they were still good, so why bother making a comment. 2. Brother gave my mom a BB gun for Christmas. Yes, that's what she wanted. She lives way out in the country and needed it to keep strays out of the trash. It's not really as bad as it sounds and it doesn't hurt that much. I should know... my brother shot me with it! I was talking to Mom in the living room and ping - he shot my arm. It left a little round bruise but it was ok. I just told him to please not do that again. He was like "Waah! It didn't even hurt you." Whatever, Brother. 3. My mother had an old Pepsi machine. It was the kind that you have to open the door and pull the handle to get the pop out of. She gave that to my brother and he was trying to load it into his truck. His wife said something to him and he just went off on her. "Just go away! I'll do this myself. I wasn't even talking to you... it wasn't even your business. I'm serious, just get out of here!" I felt really bad for Sis-in-law. 4. Here's my biggest complaint against my brother. Deklan was acting out. "He just needs a good spanking. If he were my kid he wouldn't act like that. You always give him what he wants... you don't treat the girls like that. When we were kids you know Dad wouldn't have put up with any of that. Autism or not, you just baby him too much."

When Deklan said he felt different and not happy, I actually believe that he got that emotion right. My brother doesn't give him any attention - except negative. He does give the girls attention. Especially Oldest, who is his favorite and everyone knows it.

Overall, our Thanksgiving went well and we came home on Sunday after. It was so cold. Oldest had rolled the window down part way on the way to Oklahoma. It stuck! Then when I was trying to fix it, I rolled it down more and then couldn’t get it fixed! We put plastic and duct tape over the window. The plastic was too thin and ripped before we got to town (did I mention Mom lives out in the country – 12 miles outside of town?). We stopped 3 times before I finally got to a small town with a dollar store. I bought one of those clear plastic paint drop cloths and more duct tape. We had the whole door wrapped and taped! Needless to say, it was kind of a loud (from the wind on plastic) and cold trip home to Kansas.

Deklan's thoughts

I had been laying on the bed watching TV with Deklan. I left the room for just a minute and came back. When I sat down Deklan said, "I thought that pillow was you. See, that's why it's a problem that you're fat." (He added No offense when his sister told him how mean that sounded.)

His second thought of the evening wasn't so easy to laugh off. He said, "Sometimes I feel different. Like I'm left out." I asked why he felt that way. He said, "I don't feel happy."

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. We're at my mom's for Thanksgiving break. That may be part of the reason for Deklan not feeling like everyone else, but I'll blog more about that next week.

Do you want my chair?

Deklan was trying to play a game on the computer earlier today. I needed the computer for just a minute and took over briefly. I sat down in the chair to do my quick work. Deklan patiently waited for about 2 minutes.
Then he said, "How did you get in this chair?"
I said, "I just sat down."
He said, "So, you walked this way and sat down?"
When I said yes, he said, "Ok so go the same way to get out."
I think his patience wore off.

Trapped!

Ok - is probably not the greatest subject to blog about but, here goes anyway. The past week has Deklan been terrible with accidents. Not, oops I fell accidents, but oops I pooped accidents. It hasn't been fun. Yesterday when Deklan came home I checked him and he was fine. About 1/2 hour later I asked him again because he didn't smell so clean. He hadn't, but I had the feeling he was close. I told him that if he had an accident now I was going to get upset because he knew we were getting ready to go somewhere. He made a bee-line for the bathroom. After a few minutes I heard him call me and went and checked on him. Sure enough he had BARELY made it to the bathroom. I asked him if he'd gotten any in his pants. His response...
"No, I trapped it in my bottom until I sat down."

It's been awhile

Sorry, I know it's been awhile since I've been here. Life gets busy sometimes. You all know what I'm talking about.

Deklan's ear is fine now. You can't imagine how tiny that piece of paper was. Here is a recreation, but not an exaggeration.

In perspective, This was taken on a small square pan. The second was taken on a folder.

Yes, it's the little white dot. The doctor used this little vaccuum to suck out the paper. It had a tip like he'd use to look in the ear or nose. It was kind of cool actually. Deklan didn't think so though. But he's fine now.

Since I was here last...
1. We had a Girl Scout camp out and haunted stroll. My troop girls, including Oldest daughter, had a blast. I came back with extremely sore feet and poison ivy. Still getting over the poison ivy.

2. My oldest daughter developed scabies. It's some sort of mite that gets under the skin. Not sure how she got it - she's the only one that has had it in our family. She did get a spider bite, but I'm not sure if that's how she got it or not.

3. Our Girl Scouts finished their fall candy and nut sales. YEA!!! I was the service unit manager for all 19 troops. We had audits last week and everything went well, for the most part. Today is my audit with the council and am hoping that goes well.

4. Deklan started his Boy Scout popcorn sales. By the way, you can log onto www.orderpopcorn.com, choose Shop without a key: Select council, choose KS: Wichita - Quivira, Go and shop! I'm shameless, I know! It's been hard getting him to sell this stuff. The good thing, besides selling to family, is that I volunteered to work one of the show and sell tables outside Wal-Mart so he did earn some credit.

5. Youngest daughter went with her Girl Scout troop to see High School Musical 3 and had a sleepover. She was so excited - she's still at the age where she doesn't get invited to many sleepovers. She's been to a few in the last few months so that's good. She's the middle child and I always feel like I'm neglecting her when I talk about the kids.

These are just some highlights from the past few weeks. I'll post some more later - I have to be somewhere in a few. I'll also post some photos - I finally got my camera to upload to the computer. YEA!!