I just logged onto my blog and... has it really been over two years since I posted?? I guess a lot happens in two years. Unfortunately for my family it hasn't been all roses and candy.
My oldest daughter has taken the wrong path in life... apparently it's my fault. There was a time when she was young that I left her in care of my brother and sister-in-law. They were great - treated her like their own daughter, going overboard on the spoiling (in my opinion) - and they loved her. She blames me for abandoning her - last night she told me I had no right to try to be her mother now because I wasn't her mother then. Her siblings went to stay with my mom - all my children were out of state to where I lived... she being the closest with an 8 hour drive. The path she has chosen has led to juvie (on more than one occasion) and now residential shelter until a placement home with the state comes available. She broke my heart when she said I wasn't her mother. Then she blamed me... for moving her to this state - for the choices that we made to help our family - for her choices. I should mention that I am the one that has repeatedly reported her to the police - twice for theft and once for probation violations. Yesterday, I caught wind of her Twitter account and called the shelter to find out how my child could possibly have internet access when she's locked up... resulting in her being disciplined (with good reason - she deserved it). I feel bad that I am the one that has been the "bad guy" but I don't feel bad that I did the right thing in any of the cases. She needs to learn to take responsibility - she's 16 years old, soon to be 17. I am sad that her version of what happened is so sad for her... I told her that's not how I remember things. I remember things a lot differently so I wrote her this letter and mailed it today....
Kodi Lyne –
You can blame me for all the bad things that you’ve chosen to do with your life. That’s fine. You want someone to be mad at – well here I am. Just remember one thing… in all the bad stuff you’ve done, I’ve been the one person that has not given up(until you said I was no longer your mom), the one person that was always here for you. I never let you go without seeing or talking to me – even when you were locked up… even when you were in Good Shepard… even when you didn’t like me… I was the ONE person that never gave up on you. Then you tell me that if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be the person you are – wouldn’t have made the stupid choices you did. I guess if I’d known that I was going to drive you to make horrible life changing and life crumbling choices then I would have just stopped caring a long time ago. But I didn’t!
Then you tell me I don’t have a right to be your mom because you aren’t living with me?? Really? Because when you were living with me you still weren’t letting me be your mom – you always thought you could do so much better. Apparently my rules didn’t count for much – you hate the rules anyway right. You say that I LET you do whatever you wanted?? I never LET you start roaming the town until you started refusing to come home – that would have been when you were in 9th grade by the way. Because in 8th grade I did my absolute best to keep you on the straight and narrow.
You want to know what I remember? I remember not being able to wait to have a baby. I remember being so excited that I was going to have a little girl. I remember you being a stubborn little girl from the beginning. I remember you being a smart little girl. I remember all the smiles. I remember being proud of you. That’s what I remember.
I remember the horrible summer when we had a babysitter named Molly. I remember her being mean to you girls and stealing from our family. I remember that I didn’t have a choice because I needed someone there to watch you three and I couldn’t afford anyone.
I remember moving you to Kansas because I could not take care of you. I remember dad and me both working full time and still losing the house and car. I remember making a choice to send the two little ones to mom’s in September so H could go to school (she was behind and only in kindergarten) and Lil D could have a caregiver. I remember keeping you with us until February – when the school called me and said they were going to call child services if I did not find a sitter or be home when you returned from school. I remember wanting to quit my job to be with you but couldn’t afford that choice. You were in 2nd grade. That’s what I remember. I remember sending you to Aunt and Uncle’s because they offered and they could afford to give you what you needed (and wanted if I remember correctly).
You know what I remember? I remember working until 5:00 p.m. on Friday night and driving all night to get to Kansas at 3:00 in the morning just so I could spend Saturday with you. Driving all day on Sunday so I could be back at work on Monday. I remember that I did that once, sometimes twice a month. That’s what I remember.
I remember seeing pictures of you, H, and Lil D and crying my eyes out because I couldn’t be there with you. Because we couldn’t be together. I remember your last soccer game of the season. You were adorable with your hair in a pony tail and your uniform. You didn’t play much but you sure looked cute. That’s what I remember. I remember talking to you on the phone and hearing about the Valentine’s Day party at school, how Uncle helped you with your cool bird house, how Aspen (the dog) would sleep with you at night, how Aunt would take you shopping, and I remember how much I always missed you. That’s what I remember.
I remember picking you up on the last day of school. I remember driving you to Nana’s to see the other kids. I remember you and H spending several weeks at Nana’s and a few weeks with me in Colorado. I remember making the decision to move to Kansas. I remember the heartbreak when I had to take you back to Aunt and Uncle because school was starting the following Monday. You were starting 3rd grade. I remember crying almost the whole way back home. I remember your dad leaving in the end of September to go live with you and get a job. I remember staying in Colorado so Lil D could have another eye surgery. I remember needing to stay to have money to move – I had to keep a paycheck until Dad had a job and an apartment. I remember that I gave my notice in October because I wanted to move out to be with all of you. I remember that I left Colorado on February 2 and drove straight through because I didn’t want to miss you for another day. That’s what I remember.
I remember that apartment where we made our first long lasting friendship with the family downstairs. I remember that I drove you and H to Goddard every day just so you could stay in the same school. I remember waiting for you at the corner when you’d ride the bus back. You were in 4th grade then. I remember that you drove your teacher crazy and we found out that you worked better with ADHD medicine. I remember that we had to either move to Goddard or put you in Maize for school. I remember that we were afraid you would fall through the cracks of the school system if we kept you in Maize. I remember moving to Valley Center because it was a small town and would be wonderful to raise you kids. That's what I remember.
You know what I remember? I remember you girls walking and riding your bikes all over town during the summer. I remember you spending hours at the swimming pool. I remember telling you that we would not move again until you all graduated so you wouldn’t have to leave your friends again. That was 5th grade. I remember staying home, getting you off the bus, volunteering at your school, going on field trips (though there were only a few before funding was stopped), going to your music programs, trying to be a good mom. That’s what I remember.
I remember your 13th birthday party – a slumber party that I will never forget (and goldfish crackers in the toilet)! :) I remember your 14th birthday party – a party downstairs in the community center (lights out and music turned up). I remember the wax museum and how we looked everywhere for your outfit. I remember that you didn’t come home with me that night because you spent the night with your friend but I came to school for you the next day – as soon as you called me. I remember trying to be there for you. I remember you starting to push me away. I remember you dating E. That was 9th grade. I remember the cuts on your arms and my feeling of helplessness because I didn’t know what to do to help you. I remember taking you to therapy because you said it was helping. I remember the phone call at midnight on New Year’s Eve saying you were in an accident. I remember you dating Q and being so rebellious that I couldn’t control you or what you did. I remember the sleepless nights crying and worrying about what you were doing. I remember crying and praying that you were okay. That’s what I remember.
I remember telling you, yelling at you, begging you to just stay in the house… please don’t leave! I remember the feeling of pure disappointment when I realized that you stole from me (repeatedly). I remember the police officers knocking on my door at 2 in the morning. I remember the phone calls from JIAC at midnight. I remember coming to get you no matter what time it was. I remember spending hours looking for you when you didn’t come home. I remember dragging you from Q’s time and time again. I remember you smoking until you puked – and still asking for more. I remember the sheer terror when you disappeared for days at a time. I remember thinking that the police officers were going to knock on my door and ask me to identify your body. That’s what I remember.
I remember all the apologies, all the tears, all the “I’ll never do it again’s” that you’ve told me… I remember it all. I remember saying that I believed you – even though you looked me in the eye and lied right to my face. I remember defending you to the school, even when I knew you were wrong. I remember the tears in the court room when I couldn’t tell the judge what I wanted… I remember wanting to tell the judge that he couldn’t give me what I wanted… I just want my daughter back, to be a good person. Not just a good person but a truly good person, someone that only wanted to do the right thing and someone that would only think of others… something no one can give to me but you, Kodi. I remember the tears when I left the court room the day they said they were keeping you in custody. I remember the tears after I left you in JDF [juvenile detention facility], when I realized that you still blame me for all the bad choices you’ve made. I remember the tears and disappointment when I left JRF [juvenile residential facility], when I realized that you don’t want to change. You enjoy being the bad girl. I remember the tears when you called me and yelled at me for being a mom and turning you in – AGAIN – because all I want is for you to do the right thing. I remember the tears when you said I am not your mom. I remember the tears when you said that I can’t start being your mom after not being a mom all those years. I remember the pain that I go through every time I wonder if we did the right thing – we did what we thought was best for you and for H and for Lil D. I remember being a family in Kansas. I remember all of you (even you) being happy in Kansas. And I remember that you hate me for every choice I’ve made to help you.
I remember, Kodi – I remember because I am your mom. I will never forget that I tried to help you make good choices or that I had to be more than a mom on some days, or that I had to make the tough love choices and turn you in, or that you spent days hating me and blaming me. I remember… because I can never forget. You are my daughter.
Mom
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Monday, August 29, 2011
This was an email I sent to a good friend of mine earlier today. I thought others might get a kick out of my delimma so I'm sharing with my blog friends.
Hi!
I just wanted to share my frustrating experience with you because I know you can relate. I had to hire an assistant for our next event. It's the fall festival - this year is our 50th, so it's really big... in fact, it's normally the biggest event the chamber puts on through out the year. Anyway, the board really felt I needed an assistant - someone to answer phones and do basic computer stuff so that I could be out and about asking for sponsorships for the festival, etc.
So... me being the procrastinator that I am, was reluctant to put out a help wanted sign. I got a call from a lady that said that she heard from one of our board members I was hiring and could she come in for an interview. We got along really well on the phone so, you know what the heck, why not? We had scheduled for Monday morning at 9:00 a.m. Here's where I should have known better - she called at 8:39 to say she couldn't remember when the interview was because she wrote down Tuesday but was it really Monday? Yes, I should have said good bye but I just needed someone to do mundane office stuff while I was away. It's 4 hours a day at $8 an hour - I'm not going to get superwoman anyway. I rescheduled for Tuesday morning (I was in the middle of some computer work anyway so I didn't really care). She came in at 9 the next morning and we clicked well - she's very personable (great for the phones). I had already talked to my board president and said that honestly if we clicked as well in person as we did on the phone then I was going to hire her, which I did. She actually was ready to start, should she get the position, immediately. So I hired her and she started Tuesday. I showed her some basic things on the computer - nothing major (as least I didn't think so).
I have sponsors for my event. I put the sponsors names up on the front window of my office. I had a file that had already been started - Publisher with 17 pages already done. I decided since she was going to be in the office she could do the window sponsors - and they were mostly done anyway. The only thing she needed to do was change the page setup to legal landscape, stretch the border and the text box to reach the now longer width, and add an address/phone number for the sponsor. How hard could it be? Hahahaha! She worked on it for part of the day Wednesday. I actually left her alone for a couple hours on Thursday and by 2 p.m. Thursday afternoon not one was ready to be printed! That's right - not one! After she left, I went into the file and cleaned up everything and got all the borders and text boxes arranged properly so it won't even take that much time to finish them.
But, what was great was... when we were getting to know each other we talked about our kids, etc. The next day she couldn't even remember how many kids I have. And she came dragging in a couple minutes after 10 (hours are 10-2) with a pillow. She had "fallen" down her steps and had just come from the ER having an x-ray done - nothing broken but it sure feels like it. Whatever... she used the pillow to sit on and then moved like molasses the rest of the day when getting up and down. And she was shoving in tylenol and ibuprofen like it was lifesavers. Then she tells me I have to run and get my mobi (whatever the heck that is!) and I'll be back in 10 minutes or so. Excuse me? The only person who should be leaving is me - that's why we hired you. But I didn't say that... actually what I thought was, did she really just leave? Turns out it was ok because I got a call the minute she left from a friend... "Girl, I hate to gossip but I wish you would have called me before you hired her!" Uh oh! It's all good - she's a very nice person (confirmed by my phone friend) who may have a prescription drug problem (speculated by phone friend and myself before I ever got the call!) who happens to have some drama issues (no kidding!), but is very personable and will do great on the phones!. Thanks, friend - I wish I would have called you first too! Lol
Anyway, the next day (Thursday), I'm in the office early for an appointment - actually three before 10 a.m. So the phones decided to go crazy during my meetings and we don't have voice mail, we have an answering machine. So, I get two calls (or maybe three) between 9:57 and 10:08 a.m. They all have to go to the answering machine - which I can hear because it's the old fashioned kind. But I am determined to concentrate on fireworks guys that are here discussing firework set up for the festival, when I am surprised that the second caller is my new hire. I ignored the call and as soon as the guys left (10:15 ish) I go check the answering machine. "I know I'm late - I can't find my keys anywhere! I've been looking and as soon as I find them I'll be right there!" Frustration builds up... but whatever... it's only a month (8 weeks at the longest) and it's $8 frickin dollars an hour so what can I really expect?? Well being on time would be nice but maybe I'm setting my expectations too high! So then she comes in - "I'm so sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my keys and I'm still moving slow from the fall... etc." I'm like fine here's where we are right now... I'm going to leave for a couple of hours so you can work on the window sponsors without me needing the computer. I go to make several stops and realize I forgot one of the forms I need so I swing by the office to pick it up and she's on a personal call. I don't mind personal calls -if it's not interrupting work, I can multi-task but not sure she can. She hurries up and gets off the phone and "oh blah, blah, my cousin, blah..." not really sure because I tuned her out. I left again and stayed away for awhile. I get back a little after 2 and she's not done with any of her stuff. "I'm not a time clock cow - I'll just be another minute but I don't just look at the time clock and try to milk the time or anything." Lady, you came in nearly 20 minutes late - you can stay until 2:20 and get the work done. I know you're no time clock cow because I have to approve your time sheet before you get paid!
Anyway, now we're on Friday... I decided to have her do something else. Something that I didn't realize was brain surgery but apparently it was. We have a website for our chamber (www.vckschamber.com by the way) that I and another chamber member take care of. Anyway, we needed to update the member directory. I told her to make a list of the companies that were on the website... compare that list to my notebook with current members... if they are in the book but NOT on the computer then they need to be added. I gave her last year's list to get the information from if it wasn't listed in the notebook (basically just a reference book). I went over the instructions with her - she wrote them down - I asked if she had any questions (I spent over 20 minutes walking through the instructions and having her do the steps), then I gave her my cell number (again) and left.
Now, I'm a horrible person because I got finished early but dreaded going back to the office so I stopped at Wendy's and went inside to have lunch and read my library book for awhile. My mistake... I was there only about 1/2 hour and got at least two calls from her with questions about the web stuff. I went back to the office to see what I needed to help her with. OMG! she was totally doing it wrong. She had abandoned both the list and the notebook and was using last year's reference guide to enter ALL the companies into the computer. NO! Some of those people are NOT members this year and do not go on the site! How hard is it! - I gave you specific instructions, which you wrote down!! Ok, so I didn't actually say that but I wanted to and, after a few deep breaths, I asked her where her instructions were that she wrote down. I am not joking this is what she said, "What instructions?? I didn't write any down before you left. You just said make the list - I'm not even sure what the list is for - and to enter the companies in the site." I kid you not - those were her words!! I said, "No, you wrote down the instructions. Where is your paper from this morning?" "I don't know - I didn't have a paper this morning." OMG Again!!! Ok, deep breath. We need the list because we need to compare it to the notebook, we need to enter the companies that are members but not on the list into the computer. "So, what's the list for?" "Where's your paper from this morning???!!" I found her paper - folded in half and stuck with some other stuff. "See, here's your instructions from this morning." "No, that's just the steps I need to take to get into the website." I, unfolding the paper, point to the bottom and say right there! you have them listed #1 Make a list from the computer. #2 Compare to the notebook. #3 If in the notebook but not on the list add them to the computer. "Yes, but why do I need to make a list from the website? I have a members list that you already gave me (an excel program with our members on them for her reference if she gets calls for the members)." Seriously???!!
So, after she left I went through the list on the computer and cleaned up the ones that needed more information and were put in wrong. Then I deleted the two companies that weren't supposed to be on the computer at all. And I am so frustrated!!
The point was.. I hate having an assistant!! Lol. Yes, I know you are probably laughing and that's fine - I'm kind of chuckling too - at least until Monday morning! You know, this is kind of humorous.. I may just copy this straight to my blog later and let everyone get a kick out of it.
Ok so I was going to email this to you yesterday but had to stop to run errands and then never got back onto the computer. But you'll never guess how today went... Wonderful! Because she called in sick!! Yes, less than one full week and she called in sick! Yes, I hate having an assistant!
Hi!
I just wanted to share my frustrating experience with you because I know you can relate. I had to hire an assistant for our next event. It's the fall festival - this year is our 50th, so it's really big... in fact, it's normally the biggest event the chamber puts on through out the year. Anyway, the board really felt I needed an assistant - someone to answer phones and do basic computer stuff so that I could be out and about asking for sponsorships for the festival, etc.
So... me being the procrastinator that I am, was reluctant to put out a help wanted sign. I got a call from a lady that said that she heard from one of our board members I was hiring and could she come in for an interview. We got along really well on the phone so, you know what the heck, why not? We had scheduled for Monday morning at 9:00 a.m. Here's where I should have known better - she called at 8:39 to say she couldn't remember when the interview was because she wrote down Tuesday but was it really Monday? Yes, I should have said good bye but I just needed someone to do mundane office stuff while I was away. It's 4 hours a day at $8 an hour - I'm not going to get superwoman anyway. I rescheduled for Tuesday morning (I was in the middle of some computer work anyway so I didn't really care). She came in at 9 the next morning and we clicked well - she's very personable (great for the phones). I had already talked to my board president and said that honestly if we clicked as well in person as we did on the phone then I was going to hire her, which I did. She actually was ready to start, should she get the position, immediately. So I hired her and she started Tuesday. I showed her some basic things on the computer - nothing major (as least I didn't think so).
I have sponsors for my event. I put the sponsors names up on the front window of my office. I had a file that had already been started - Publisher with 17 pages already done. I decided since she was going to be in the office she could do the window sponsors - and they were mostly done anyway. The only thing she needed to do was change the page setup to legal landscape, stretch the border and the text box to reach the now longer width, and add an address/phone number for the sponsor. How hard could it be? Hahahaha! She worked on it for part of the day Wednesday. I actually left her alone for a couple hours on Thursday and by 2 p.m. Thursday afternoon not one was ready to be printed! That's right - not one! After she left, I went into the file and cleaned up everything and got all the borders and text boxes arranged properly so it won't even take that much time to finish them.
But, what was great was... when we were getting to know each other we talked about our kids, etc. The next day she couldn't even remember how many kids I have. And she came dragging in a couple minutes after 10 (hours are 10-2) with a pillow. She had "fallen" down her steps and had just come from the ER having an x-ray done - nothing broken but it sure feels like it. Whatever... she used the pillow to sit on and then moved like molasses the rest of the day when getting up and down. And she was shoving in tylenol and ibuprofen like it was lifesavers. Then she tells me I have to run and get my mobi (whatever the heck that is!) and I'll be back in 10 minutes or so. Excuse me? The only person who should be leaving is me - that's why we hired you. But I didn't say that... actually what I thought was, did she really just leave? Turns out it was ok because I got a call the minute she left from a friend... "Girl, I hate to gossip but I wish you would have called me before you hired her!" Uh oh! It's all good - she's a very nice person (confirmed by my phone friend) who may have a prescription drug problem (speculated by phone friend and myself before I ever got the call!) who happens to have some drama issues (no kidding!), but is very personable and will do great on the phones!. Thanks, friend - I wish I would have called you first too! Lol
Anyway, the next day (Thursday), I'm in the office early for an appointment - actually three before 10 a.m. So the phones decided to go crazy during my meetings and we don't have voice mail, we have an answering machine. So, I get two calls (or maybe three) between 9:57 and 10:08 a.m. They all have to go to the answering machine - which I can hear because it's the old fashioned kind. But I am determined to concentrate on fireworks guys that are here discussing firework set up for the festival, when I am surprised that the second caller is my new hire. I ignored the call and as soon as the guys left (10:15 ish) I go check the answering machine. "I know I'm late - I can't find my keys anywhere! I've been looking and as soon as I find them I'll be right there!" Frustration builds up... but whatever... it's only a month (8 weeks at the longest) and it's $8 frickin dollars an hour so what can I really expect?? Well being on time would be nice but maybe I'm setting my expectations too high! So then she comes in - "I'm so sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my keys and I'm still moving slow from the fall... etc." I'm like fine here's where we are right now... I'm going to leave for a couple of hours so you can work on the window sponsors without me needing the computer. I go to make several stops and realize I forgot one of the forms I need so I swing by the office to pick it up and she's on a personal call. I don't mind personal calls -if it's not interrupting work, I can multi-task but not sure she can. She hurries up and gets off the phone and "oh blah, blah, my cousin, blah..." not really sure because I tuned her out. I left again and stayed away for awhile. I get back a little after 2 and she's not done with any of her stuff. "I'm not a time clock cow - I'll just be another minute but I don't just look at the time clock and try to milk the time or anything." Lady, you came in nearly 20 minutes late - you can stay until 2:20 and get the work done. I know you're no time clock cow because I have to approve your time sheet before you get paid!
Anyway, now we're on Friday... I decided to have her do something else. Something that I didn't realize was brain surgery but apparently it was. We have a website for our chamber (www.vckschamber.com by the way) that I and another chamber member take care of. Anyway, we needed to update the member directory. I told her to make a list of the companies that were on the website... compare that list to my notebook with current members... if they are in the book but NOT on the computer then they need to be added. I gave her last year's list to get the information from if it wasn't listed in the notebook (basically just a reference book). I went over the instructions with her - she wrote them down - I asked if she had any questions (I spent over 20 minutes walking through the instructions and having her do the steps), then I gave her my cell number (again) and left.
Now, I'm a horrible person because I got finished early but dreaded going back to the office so I stopped at Wendy's and went inside to have lunch and read my library book for awhile. My mistake... I was there only about 1/2 hour and got at least two calls from her with questions about the web stuff. I went back to the office to see what I needed to help her with. OMG! she was totally doing it wrong. She had abandoned both the list and the notebook and was using last year's reference guide to enter ALL the companies into the computer. NO! Some of those people are NOT members this year and do not go on the site! How hard is it! - I gave you specific instructions, which you wrote down!! Ok, so I didn't actually say that but I wanted to and, after a few deep breaths, I asked her where her instructions were that she wrote down. I am not joking this is what she said, "What instructions?? I didn't write any down before you left. You just said make the list - I'm not even sure what the list is for - and to enter the companies in the site." I kid you not - those were her words!! I said, "No, you wrote down the instructions. Where is your paper from this morning?" "I don't know - I didn't have a paper this morning." OMG Again!!! Ok, deep breath. We need the list because we need to compare it to the notebook, we need to enter the companies that are members but not on the list into the computer. "So, what's the list for?" "Where's your paper from this morning???!!" I found her paper - folded in half and stuck with some other stuff. "See, here's your instructions from this morning." "No, that's just the steps I need to take to get into the website." I, unfolding the paper, point to the bottom and say right there! you have them listed #1 Make a list from the computer. #2 Compare to the notebook. #3 If in the notebook but not on the list add them to the computer. "Yes, but why do I need to make a list from the website? I have a members list that you already gave me (an excel program with our members on them for her reference if she gets calls for the members)." Seriously???!!
So, after she left I went through the list on the computer and cleaned up the ones that needed more information and were put in wrong. Then I deleted the two companies that weren't supposed to be on the computer at all. And I am so frustrated!!
The point was.. I hate having an assistant!! Lol. Yes, I know you are probably laughing and that's fine - I'm kind of chuckling too - at least until Monday morning! You know, this is kind of humorous.. I may just copy this straight to my blog later and let everyone get a kick out of it.
Ok so I was going to email this to you yesterday but had to stop to run errands and then never got back onto the computer. But you'll never guess how today went... Wonderful! Because she called in sick!! Yes, less than one full week and she called in sick! Yes, I hate having an assistant!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Summer updates
Ok, I know I've kept you hanging after such a shock on my last post. As far as that situation goes there is no update on the legal position. Update on Kodi... she's seeing a therapist once a week. We had a few rounds about her attending high school in a few weeks. She doesn't want to go to the high school. She wants to online school. I think that she is not wanting to go based on what she thinks will happen. She is under the unbelievable impression that everyone hates her and no one believes what she said - but they believe the boy. Some of her "friends" did turn on her but not as many as she thinks. She still has a lot of friends that stand behind her but she doesn't realize it yet. With the therapist's help, I've convinced her to give high school a try - a minimum of 6 weeks - before we switch to either an online school program or some other alternative. I just don't want her to miss out on high school... tennis, ball games, dances, etc. We put her on abilify several months ago because of her behavior. She's gotten better with the attitude but she's been really depressed so we had to put her on anti-depressants last week to help her cope. I try to find reasons for her to help me at work or stay close to her but she does have a few friends that she hangs with and spends the night with on occasion so that's good.
Deklan... He's driving me crazy! He's always looking for something to do - he's never happy with anything! He's bored; he's wants to go to the store; he wants something else to do/play with. Ugh! He goes to day camp for children with special needs two days a week but I don't know what to do with him the rest of the time. Oh, and he has this new thing... he can be screaming his head off for hours. Once I hit the breaking point and scream back and tell him how much trouble he's going to be in if he doesn't knock it off - he suddenly gets a memory lapse! That's right, suddenly it's (very calm voice) "what are you talking about? I did do what you wanted me to didn't I?" Are you freaking kidding me??!! No, you didn't do what I wanted you to do! This makes me want to laugh hysterically when he does this because he is so totally serious and innocent. Kodi on the other hand wants to throttle him. It's extremely annoying and kind of funny at the same time.
Hayleigh... who's that?? Just kidding - she's been gone nearly every night and day this summer. She has a couple of friends that she hangs with, goes to the pool with, spends the night with and we hardly ever see her. She comes home long enough to do a load of laundry every now and then and then disappears again. At least she's enjoying the summer.
Me... I just had my second big event for the chamber. We had a golf tournament today. It was freaking HOT - 104 degrees plus humidity. Thank God there was a breeze for most of the morning. It was a great tournament! I think everyone had a great time. We've already got next year's dates (June 29, 2012) set for our next tournament. Lol - it takes a year to plan a really great tournament (or at least get a really good course scheduled!). Dakota volunteered with me at the tourney. She did a really great job and I'm very proud of her. She and I both drove a golf cart for the first time ever. She drove the beverage cart - adults took turns on the cart with her - but she drove for most of the day and loved it. Everyone thought she was adorable. She also helped with set up and clean up without complaining.
That's our summer update so far.
Deklan... He's driving me crazy! He's always looking for something to do - he's never happy with anything! He's bored; he's wants to go to the store; he wants something else to do/play with. Ugh! He goes to day camp for children with special needs two days a week but I don't know what to do with him the rest of the time. Oh, and he has this new thing... he can be screaming his head off for hours. Once I hit the breaking point and scream back and tell him how much trouble he's going to be in if he doesn't knock it off - he suddenly gets a memory lapse! That's right, suddenly it's (very calm voice) "what are you talking about? I did do what you wanted me to didn't I?" Are you freaking kidding me??!! No, you didn't do what I wanted you to do! This makes me want to laugh hysterically when he does this because he is so totally serious and innocent. Kodi on the other hand wants to throttle him. It's extremely annoying and kind of funny at the same time.
Hayleigh... who's that?? Just kidding - she's been gone nearly every night and day this summer. She has a couple of friends that she hangs with, goes to the pool with, spends the night with and we hardly ever see her. She comes home long enough to do a load of laundry every now and then and then disappears again. At least she's enjoying the summer.
Me... I just had my second big event for the chamber. We had a golf tournament today. It was freaking HOT - 104 degrees plus humidity. Thank God there was a breeze for most of the morning. It was a great tournament! I think everyone had a great time. We've already got next year's dates (June 29, 2012) set for our next tournament. Lol - it takes a year to plan a really great tournament (or at least get a really good course scheduled!). Dakota volunteered with me at the tourney. She did a really great job and I'm very proud of her. She and I both drove a golf cart for the first time ever. She drove the beverage cart - adults took turns on the cart with her - but she drove for most of the day and loved it. Everyone thought she was adorable. She also helped with set up and clean up without complaining.
That's our summer update so far.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Serious business
First, I have good news (if you call autism good - lol). Deklan's diagnosis stayed the same - he definitely has autism. I know that's a weird thing to be happy about but I really am. The psychologist that tested him said that since autism has been in the news more that she's had a lot of parents actually want their kids to be diagnosed with autism. So, she was being careful with our diagnosis. However, after the testing, talking with me, and getting the paperwork from the teachers - she said there is no doubt that Lil D is autistic. She also said that in the past two months she's tested about 10 kids and Lil D is the first one that truly has the diagnosis. On that note, he is regressing terribly! The school doesn't have any clue to what to do with him either. They have a struggle with him every day - especially when it comes to writing. He has melt downs that include throwing chairs, screaming, crying, hitting, head banging, and completely shutting down. He's not even completely potty trained either! At my whit's end and not sure what to do with him. I listened to him scream and cry for over an hour yesterday because he wanted Wendy's instead of McDonald's - which he decided after we were already in the drive thru line... and he didn't get his way either.
Second, Dakota graduated 8th grade last night!! Whoohoo! There were days I thought she might not make it but she did! Lol. She looked beautiful! I procrastinated taking her to get a dress so we were in a rush yesterday before the recognition. We made it to seven stores and back home in 2 1/2 hours! She had to have a zebra print dress... and shoes... and a bra...... Lol. It was worth it!
Third, Kodi had her "wax museum" at school. Each 8th grader was assigned a historical person that they had to learn a speech and then dress up as that person. They all had to do a speech and create some kind of back board about the person. Then you walk up and "press" her button so that she starts talking. It was pretty good. K was Rosalind Elsie Franklin, the woman who helped discover DNA.
Fourth, I had my first big event at work. It was awesome! We had a sanctioned BBQ, Chili, Dutch Oven contest and Car Show. I had just under 90 days to pull it all together and I did! Ok... I had a lot of help. The board members are wonderful and were extremely helpful - jumping in to help wherever I needed them. Then we got reviewed by the BBQ representatives - and did awesome! They were really impressed. Then I got my event review from the board members - and it was awesome! I know - awesome is a big and annoying word - but I don't know how else to describe it!! Now, we work on the golf tournament. :)
Fifth, not so good news. In fact, it's kind of disturbing and sad. My oldest daughter was date raped a couple of weeks ago. We're on a gag order by the detective so I cannot give details. However, it was a boy she knew and was friends with. He was over at the house - they were in the back yard, there was some consensual hugging and some kissing... when things started progressing, she said stop and he didn't. When we went to the police, she had to be video taped during interview and then they sent us to a forensics nurse at the hospital. There were lots of pictures and testing - she was a real trooper. We were there for nearly five hours between the police department and the hospital. Since we filed charges (and it did go to the DA), the boy has not been back to school. Kodi is dealing really well with this - it was hard the first few days with people calling her a liar and a bunch of drama, but all that's getting much easier to deal with. We've talked about it, she's done well, and she's strong so this will just be a bump that we all get over. Never forget but get over. The day after it happened she called me from school - she was so overwhelmed and needed to tell me. I'm just happy that we have a relationship in which she's comfortable and trusts me enough to share with me what happened and how she's feeling. I know some girls would never be able to tell their parents.
Second, Dakota graduated 8th grade last night!! Whoohoo! There were days I thought she might not make it but she did! Lol. She looked beautiful! I procrastinated taking her to get a dress so we were in a rush yesterday before the recognition. We made it to seven stores and back home in 2 1/2 hours! She had to have a zebra print dress... and shoes... and a bra...... Lol. It was worth it!
Third, Kodi had her "wax museum" at school. Each 8th grader was assigned a historical person that they had to learn a speech and then dress up as that person. They all had to do a speech and create some kind of back board about the person. Then you walk up and "press" her button so that she starts talking. It was pretty good. K was Rosalind Elsie Franklin, the woman who helped discover DNA.
Fourth, I had my first big event at work. It was awesome! We had a sanctioned BBQ, Chili, Dutch Oven contest and Car Show. I had just under 90 days to pull it all together and I did! Ok... I had a lot of help. The board members are wonderful and were extremely helpful - jumping in to help wherever I needed them. Then we got reviewed by the BBQ representatives - and did awesome! They were really impressed. Then I got my event review from the board members - and it was awesome! I know - awesome is a big and annoying word - but I don't know how else to describe it!! Now, we work on the golf tournament. :)
Fifth, not so good news. In fact, it's kind of disturbing and sad. My oldest daughter was date raped a couple of weeks ago. We're on a gag order by the detective so I cannot give details. However, it was a boy she knew and was friends with. He was over at the house - they were in the back yard, there was some consensual hugging and some kissing... when things started progressing, she said stop and he didn't. When we went to the police, she had to be video taped during interview and then they sent us to a forensics nurse at the hospital. There were lots of pictures and testing - she was a real trooper. We were there for nearly five hours between the police department and the hospital. Since we filed charges (and it did go to the DA), the boy has not been back to school. Kodi is dealing really well with this - it was hard the first few days with people calling her a liar and a bunch of drama, but all that's getting much easier to deal with. We've talked about it, she's done well, and she's strong so this will just be a bump that we all get over. Never forget but get over. The day after it happened she called me from school - she was so overwhelmed and needed to tell me. I'm just happy that we have a relationship in which she's comfortable and trusts me enough to share with me what happened and how she's feeling. I know some girls would never be able to tell their parents.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
What the ??!!!
They want to change Deklan's diagnosis to PDD-NOS. They said that he's too high functioning to be autistic, but doesn't score high enough to be asperger's either. Ugh!! He had one set of tests today and goes back Tuesday for another two hours.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Deklan's surgery went great! He was such a good boy... he didn't even cry. He teared up briefly when he realized that he couldn't open his eye because they had it taped shut. Once I explained that it was only for the day and the doctor would let him open it the next morning then the tears went away and all was well again. He took a short nap when we got home and then he was ready to play. He doesn't understand that he still has to take it easy because he has stitches in his eye that could still pop and cause damage. He has to wear the eye shield for a week... we go back to the doctor on Friday. When they took the bandage off and did the tests he could see right away. It was so great - yes, I cried.
Before the surgery.
After the surgery.
Before the doctor's post-op appointment.
Before the surgery.
After the surgery.
Before the doctor's post-op appointment.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Our vacation was awesome! We had such a great time. Since then the kids have started school again - 3rd grade, 6th grade, and 8th grade. I'm still president of the Parent Brigade (PTO) at the Middle School, which means I still help with the concessions, meals for the teachers, etc. and run the monthly meetings. I also am still co-leader of K's GS troop. The leader moved to Texas because she had to follow her job or lose it so she skypes to the meetings and her husband (R) and I do all the leg work here. We're hosting a booth at the annual church bazaar this year so R and I are doing the majority of the work for that - the leader will not be able to come back for that. Fun! Fun! Fun! I also am yearbook editor and member of the PTA at Deklan's school. Basically, I get to go up to his school every so often and take pictures - then I get to choose which ones go into the yearbook. That is fun - I really enjoy doing that. Wish I could get a job just doing that... but that's not going to happen! HaHa! I have also had knee surgery. Not doing as well as I had hoped or expected. It's been eight weeks and I'm still having trouble. I'm still on the board (treasurer) for the American Youth Soccer Organization in our region. I also am a member of the Friends of the Library for our local library. We're trying to raise enough money to build a new library which we desperately need. I spent nearly a whole week working a book sale for them... I figured the hours and it was nearly 40 hours! How funny is that - volunteering is almost a full time job. This will be my last year for Parent Brigade and AYSO though. I'm hoping to get a job soon. I'm torn though... I really enjoy being the "go to" mom that doesn't have to work and I enjoy taking all the vacation times the kids do. I know that once I get a job that stuff will not come so easily - even with a part time job.
Deklan is having eye surgery tomorrow. He's having a lens implant - right eye tomorrow... left eye in several weeks. Normally we would not be considering lens implants at this point. Hayleigh was ten before we even discussed hers - D's only eight. However, he has other eye issues that we're hoping will be corrected with the implants. Besides having poor vision (hence the implants), he also has eye crossing and difficulty focusing. This will be his fourth eye surgery but I'm still nervous. He seems to be dealing with it very well. He's been letting me put his eye drops in without any fussing. He knows that this surgery will help his eyes "be like Hayleigh's" as he puts it.
Halloween was fun this year. We didn't do a lot of regular trick or treating - we mostly went to the activities that the local churches had going on. The kids and I really enjoyed ourselves.
The girls have been playing soccer with AYSO. They were able to be on the same team this year. Thank goodness. Actually, R and I share the girls - ha! that sounds funny but he and I have a lot to do with each other and his girls are the same age/grade as my girls. We were able to put all four girls on the same team this time and that way we could see all their games. Otherwise we were going to have to switch up every other week - I take the older girls, he takes the younger and then switch for the next week. They haven't won a game yet but they are much better than last year. Anyway, R and I are always together for one thing or another and he treats my kids like his and I treat his like mine. In fact, K calls him her dad and his girls always call me mommy too. And since his wife is in Texas and my husband works nights we get along great.
Kodi and MaKenna
Hayleigh with the ball.
Kodi and Bayli
K also played tennis at school. She earned third place in doubles. I'm so proud of her. H wanted to do track but sixth graders aren't allowed to participate in school sports. She can't wait for next year though.
I can't wait for Thanksgiving... the kids and I are going to Mom's.
Deklan is having eye surgery tomorrow. He's having a lens implant - right eye tomorrow... left eye in several weeks. Normally we would not be considering lens implants at this point. Hayleigh was ten before we even discussed hers - D's only eight. However, he has other eye issues that we're hoping will be corrected with the implants. Besides having poor vision (hence the implants), he also has eye crossing and difficulty focusing. This will be his fourth eye surgery but I'm still nervous. He seems to be dealing with it very well. He's been letting me put his eye drops in without any fussing. He knows that this surgery will help his eyes "be like Hayleigh's" as he puts it.
Halloween was fun this year. We didn't do a lot of regular trick or treating - we mostly went to the activities that the local churches had going on. The kids and I really enjoyed ourselves.
The girls have been playing soccer with AYSO. They were able to be on the same team this year. Thank goodness. Actually, R and I share the girls - ha! that sounds funny but he and I have a lot to do with each other and his girls are the same age/grade as my girls. We were able to put all four girls on the same team this time and that way we could see all their games. Otherwise we were going to have to switch up every other week - I take the older girls, he takes the younger and then switch for the next week. They haven't won a game yet but they are much better than last year. Anyway, R and I are always together for one thing or another and he treats my kids like his and I treat his like mine. In fact, K calls him her dad and his girls always call me mommy too. And since his wife is in Texas and my husband works nights we get along great.
Kodi and MaKenna
Hayleigh with the ball.
Kodi and BayliK also played tennis at school. She earned third place in doubles. I'm so proud of her. H wanted to do track but sixth graders aren't allowed to participate in school sports. She can't wait for next year though.
I can't wait for Thanksgiving... the kids and I are going to Mom's.
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